Emotional intelligence is transformational — learn insights and strategies for using the power of EQ in your personal relationships and for yourself!
How do you increase happiness, and is that a useful goal? What do we mean by happiness anyway? Using emotional intelligence we can go from ‘happy’ to ‘thriving.’
Read MoreHow to effectively resolve conflict? “Emotional intelligence is essential,” says Daniel Shapiro, Harvard International Negotiation Program.
Read MoreAs the pace of healthcare increases, empathy is becoming scarce. Yet research shows that empathy actually may save time – and save lives. The learnable skills of emotional intelligence may be an essential ingredient in supporting providers to meaningfully and effectively connect with patients.
Read MoreFour years ago, I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t even put my socks on. Yesterday, I went for a run — without someone chasing me… I actually chose it. As we think about change, rather than focusing on an “easy step,” there’s something incredibly powerful about embracing the impossible, and harvesting the emotional energy to fuel the next steps.
Read MoreI’ve noticed something intriguing – if you have no idea what result you want, you’re unlikely to get it. My skills at pool/billiards are terrible, but I still can plan ahead and think about how I’m going to whack the cue ball to get a particular result. Isn’t this true of all of our interactions? If we decide “where we want the ball to go” in our meetings, conversations, interactions… then it’s much more probably we can make that happen.
Read MoreIs there a way to be unconditionally loving, and also to hold high expectations? As parents, can we love our kids “as they are” AND help them be better?
Read MoreReading reactions to Sandy Hook, a common theme is blame, but is there an alternative? Looking at the neuroscience, it feels better to blame. When we blame, we know the answer, and that feeling of righteous wrath is actually a dopamine reward that our brain emits when we “know.” While this reaction cycle is wired into our brains, we do have a choice — three, in fact.
Read MoreAre we more interested in the appearance of the thing, or the thing itself? There is a seduction of the surface. It’s easy to see. It’s easy to put in a photo. It’s easy to say, “We’re doing it right.” It’s just plain easier. As stress levels rise and we are too busy even to be busy, we skim. The surface is faster. Depth takes reflection. It takes ambiguity and curiosity and the effort of turning the wheel firmly enough to leap out of the deeply worn ruts in the roads of our minds.
Read MoreIt may seem like a paradox, but people who focus on giving feel and do better… and so do businesses.
Read MoreThe use of power is central to our interactions as leaders, coaches, parents, and change agents. To be more effective, emotional intelligence will help us understand and tune up our own use of power and the ways people react to that. There are dozens, maybe hundreds, of different forms of power. All of these “work” in some sense. If they generate certain desired there are “benefits.” At the same time, each produces unwanted side effects, called “costs.” What are some of the forms of power that you have, and that you exercise? What happens when you exercise these different forms of power? What price do you pay for each such use?
Read MoreIf we don’t shift gears, we are choosing global devastation — socially, environmentally, economically — and while millions of people are working to make things better, humanity is still finding it incredibly difficult to change the game to a sustainable, prosperous, and joyful future. At Six Seconds we’ve found incredibly powerful methods of catalyzing positive […]
Read MoreThe neuroscience of empathy is fascinating and offers practical lessons for leadership and life. Our brains are wired for social connection through Mirror Neurons, which cause us to experience what we perceive.
Read MoreWhen I was very small – probably about seven – I read a fairy tale about a princess who was born with a glass heart. In the story, this princess grew into a lovely young woman. Early one day, feeling joy at the sight of the first crocuses or daffodils or tulips in the palace […]
Read MoreI went to a funeral last week. Mary C. Laycock was a wonderful mathematician and teacher. I worked with her at Nueva School in Hillsborough, CA and knew her for many years. Her students adored her and her ‘Mary’s Math.’ One lesson with Mary and you would develop an insight into math that would stay […]
Read MoreI was recently talking to a group about the fact that we can choose how we feel. “But didn’t you say emotions are an automatic biological response?” Yes, in fact, I did… but don’t we have choice about our biology? I remember years ago interviewing neurobiologist Debra Niehoff about the way some people seemed […]
Read MoreI just been reading some of the many articles about this remarkable woman who passed away on Sunday. I wanted to share two of these articles with you, in order to honor her memory and reflect on the power we each have to choose a path toward our own noble goal. Frances Moore Lappe and […]
Read More…(Or A Bottle of Wine) When I was little, I remember people saying, “Oh no, she can’t do it. She’s too old.” Or, ‘Let’s ask somebody younger. She’ll have more energy.” Fifteen years ago, when we were both 56, Karen Stone-McCown and I (yes, I got her permission to say that ) started Six […]
Read MoreLife is full of these moments of transition, of uncertainty and discovery. People coming and going, growing up, moving away, coming back… waves on the sand, life seems to be continuously in flux, and you just can’t hold it still. Yesterday I delivered Emma to her first sleep-away summer camp; she’ll be there for three […]
Read MoreA self-reflective discussion of “workaholism,” managing time, the work-life balance, and a mechanism for prioritizing the “to do” list.
Read MoreFor the past 20 years, my most rigorous exercise has been carrying my laptop around the world. Still, when I went to the doctor for a checkup (finally), I was surprised and dismayed by my blood pressure. [This article was first published 12/21/2005 — the good news: I’ve come to like exercise!] Over the years […]
Read MoreWe’ve all worked for or with those leaders whose first priority seems to be garnering credit and praise — so what is it that lets a rare few truly galvanize others around the mission?
Read MoreKaren McCown, Six Seconds’ Founder, handed this article to me several years ago. It’s stuck with me as a powerful set of guidelines for being impeccable with words. The children, Patty and I have discussed the “three gatekeepers” often over the last years; we started when the kids were 4 and 6 years old and […]
Read MoreThe Six Seconds model turns EQ theory into practice for your personal and professional life. Emotional intelligence is the capacity to blend thinking and feeling to make optimal decisions — which is key to having a successful relationship with yourself and others. To provide a practical and simple way to learn and practice emotional intelligence, Six Seconds developed a three-part model in 1997 as a process – an action plan for using emotional intelligence in daily life.
Read MoreRecently… I told Emma (8-year-old daughter) she needed to get dressed to go. Instant protest, heel-dragging, power struggle. Yet we were going to do something she wanted! I observed a new cross-functional team starting up. The person assigned to schedule the first meeting asserted, “Since no one else wants to, I will chair the team.” […]
Read MoreThe drive to connect, to be accepted, is both glorious and brutal. It drives us to care and connect — and to engage in self-destructive behavior in a desperate bid to fit. The “thinness” of digital connection can’t actually be fixed by quantity — just as one can not get a healthy meal by eating a LOT of junk — but the thinness may drive people to want more.
Read MoreI have always loved little boxes, they’re all around our house and I have a collection near my desk. I’ve decided to make one a Dream Box in an attempt to stay hopeful. I’d like to say I’m not afraid to talk about this, but the truth is I am. I’m afraid that you will […]
Read MoreHow do we change out of a destructive pattern? Emma (my daughter, now 9) frequently makes a big fuss when it’s time to do work that’s not appealing, especially “dumb writing homework” (despite usually liking writing and being an outstanding student). This has gone on for years, but a couple of weeks ago I noticed […]
Read MoreThis week we watched the Star Wars trilogy as a family – first time for Emma and Max. Return of the Jedi was today. A couple of comments that followed up from the discussion of Satyagraha. Tucking into bed, Max, 7: “Remember when Luke made C3P0 fly, and then C3p0 said, ‘I didn’t know I […]
Read MoreFinding Peace Amidst Holiday Stress – Tips for an “Emotionally Intelligent” Holiday Paradoxically, holidays are extremely stressful. Given all the bad news we’re facing in the economy, this year may be especially challenging. There are so many expectations, so much to accomplish, and so many feelings all rolled together. Holidays are rituals and we […]
Read MoreDear ones, Tomorrow the Jewish holiday of Passover begins, so I’ve been thinking about freedom and about love. Passover commemorates the time when Jews were enslaved in Egypt and then Gd, through Moses, led them to forge a path toward freedom. Moses didn’t want the job — he felt unqualified, incapable… uncertain and hopeless, but […]
Read MoreI was interviewed for Feb ’07 Redbook article. It’s always fun to see how these things come out… Excerpt: “See” your feelings in full color. Take a moment each day to imagine that you’re a blank wall waiting to be painted, suggests Joshua Freedman, of Six Seconds (6seconds.org), an emotional-intelligence website. “Let your imagination run […]
Read Moreby Anabel Jensen, Ph.D. When I was very small — probably about seven — I read a fairy tale about a princess who was born with a glass heart. In the story, this princess grew into a lovely young woman. Early one day, feeling joy at the sight of the first crocuses or daffodils or […]
Read MoreAwareness of beginnings, middles, and ends helps projects, relationships, and events — at work, at school, at home, in love and in war. It seems that if we could become more effective in all three phases life would be a lot better!
Read More“Emotions are literally changing the chemistry of every cell of your body,” says Dr. Pert, “and affecting the world outside your body.”
Read MoreAnabel Jensen, Ph.D. It was two days after Christmas, 1998, and my son, Caleb, and I were sitting in front of a roaring fire with cups of hot chocolate (mine had a bunch of tiny marshmallows) and we were reviewing and reminiscing about previous Christmas days — those memories that made us laugh or cry. […]
Read MoreThis second half of “Fight or Flow” explores the alternative to the kinds of “hitting back first” reactions discussed in part one. To constructively engage with emotions requires reframing the way we think — and feel — about feelings. It’s always amazed me that these heavy stones can move — float — on a cushion […]
Read MoreWhy do we react – explode – shut down… and how can we use insights from current neuroscience to be less reactive?
Read MoreWhat is optimism? Can it be learned? How? Martin Seligman is one of the preeminent experts on optimism and a founder of positive psychology. This interview explores many of the key ingredients for creating a happy, fulfilled life and introduces the concept of positive psychology. Josh: The tool that you introduced at the Nexus EQ […]
Read MoreLast week I stood on the edge of the world. The oceans mingled crashing against the cliffs — beyond this spire of land is only water, all the oceans together. The Cape of Good Hope. A point of crossing, the end of one journey, the beginning of another. A metaphor, perhaps, of the New South […]
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