Three Key Ideas on Parenting with Emotional Intelligence

1.See Emotions as Data

As parents, we’re faced with a lot of complex feelings — ours and our children’s. It’s easy to be overwhelmed. Some parents push feelings aside, other parents give feelings too much power. Instead, consider emotions as information. “Oh, that’s interesting. I wonder what this feeling means?”

This attitude of curiosity helps us find value and insight from feelings while stepping back from reacting.

2. Hold Onto Your Choices

Sometimes we think, “there’s nothing I can do,” or, “my child is always going to be ____” or, “she will never ____.” We’ve tried telling, yelling, time-outs… and we’re ready to pop. Remember, parenting is a many-years-long marathon, and it gets exhausting. And, that also means we have many chances to try again. To learn, to experiment: We have choices.

This attitude of learning helps us parents remain resilient as we continue to adapt to kids’ changing needs.

3. Keep Parenting on Purpose

Parenting is one of the most powerful ways to affect the future. As parents, we directly influence not only our children, but a whole generation of young people who will lead, innovate, grow — and, many of whom will also be parents in turn. When we feel connected to our own sense of purpose-as-parents, it gives us perspective. The small things remain small. Purpose becomes a guide to help us navigate the complexities.

This focus on the long-term, and putting our vision into action, helps us maintain balance and energy.

Want more EQ in Parenting?

• Read a free excerpt of Whole-Hearted Parenting by Josh Freedman (details)
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