Feeling Down? Treat Someone Else

When I am feeling down, I go looking for chocolate. Maybe it’s a responsible nibble of a dark chocolate bar. Maybe it’s for real and I take down a whole Snicker’s. But regardless, my strategy for feeling better is, more often than not, giving myself chocolate.

If it helps me at all, I think it’s safe to say that the fix is temporary. It’s more of a distraction from my feelings than a way to deal with them – a temporary escape into the blissful world of cocoa, sugar, or high fructose corn syrup.

This strategy of treating yourself when you’re feeling down is extremely common, of course. Our culture tells us that this is the most surefire way to feel better. The treat could be beer, fast food, a cigarette, extra time on the computer, or any number of things. But they all have one thing in common: To help myself feel better, I should give myself a treat.

That’s common sense, right?

Treating Others Is the Key

Actually, recent research says that what makes people consistently happy is to focus on others. In a 6 week study from the University of the South in Sewanee, Tennessee, doing acts of kindness for others was found to be the most powerful mood booster. Psychological flourishing, which was measured as an increase in positive emotions and decrease of negative emotions, was found in those who participated in acts of kindness but not in the controls who only treated themselves.

“People striving for happiness may be tempted to treat themselves. Our results, however, suggest that they may be more successful if they opt to treat someone else instead.” – Dr. Katherine Nelson, Assistant Professor of Psychology, Sewanee University

So if you are feeling down or want to boost your mood, the question to ask isn’t what you can do for yourself, but what you can do for somebody else.

Maybe I should leave the chocolate on my partner’s pillow.

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Michael Miller

Writer at Six Seconds

Michael Miller is a staff writer for Six Seconds who lives in St. Louis, Missouri. When he isn't writing about emotional intelligence, he is probably enjoying some good food, hanging out with his puppy Banjo, or playing basketball. You can reach him at [email protected].

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