Hi there– ready to learn more about your limiting belief? 🙂
Last week, you opened your eyes to your ‘Sandpaper Person’– the person who most agitates + annoys you. This week, we will dig into what they have to teach you about your limiting belief, and how they will help you unwrap your gift of GROWTH.
PS– If you’d like to receive this free gift of goodness in your inbox every week, you can subscribe here!
Illuminate: Your Limiting Belief Demystified (by Your Sandpaper Person)
Last week, you met two people:
1. Lisa, a yoga teacher who believes she must please everyone.
2. Lisa’s Sandpaper Person, the yoga student who never smiles.
Lisa’s impossible-to-please student drives her nuts, and I don’t think anyone would blame her. But if we dig a little deeper into their dynamic, we see that the Sandpaper Person reveals Lisa’s lifelong limiting belief about herself: that she must please everyone to be worthy or loved.
And her non-smiling student gives her exactly the reminder, and the impetus, to grow past it.
Lisa’s Sandpaper Person is a gift of growth to her, even if the gift is a little prickly.
Now that Lisa is aware of the root reason why her Sandpaper Person drives her bonkers, she can approach their interactions in a way that unwraps this gift of growth. We will explore exactly how she does this (and how you will do it, too) in the next section.
Thanks to Lisa’s Sandpaper Person, she is now very aware of her limiting belief: Always trying to please others. The gift comes in the form of tools to help herself move beyond this limiting belief; tools like telling herself “Others can be unhappy with me, and I am still loved” and stopping trying to make her Sandpaper Person happy.
It’s time to unwrap YOUR gift of growth from your Sandpaper Person by using some consequential thinking:
1. Why do they annoy you?
Think about your last interaction with your Sandpaper Person– what exactly is it about them that annoys you?
For Lisa, it’s that her yoga student can’t be pleased.
2. What’s your limiting belief?
What does the answer to #1 tell you about a limiting belief you hold about yourself?
You might consider: Do you allow yourself to do what they do, or do you have a deep-seated fear of doing what they’re doing? Or do you withhold love or worthiness from yourself because of a characteristic they have?
For Lisa, it’s this limiting belief: I must please everyone to be loved or worthy.
3. Choose a new TFA
Choose a TFA (thought, feeling + action) you could use to “unwrap your gift of growth” when interacting with your Sandpaper Person:
Think:
For example, Lisa tells herself this affirmation: “Others can be unhappy with me, and I am still loved.”
Feel:
For example, Lisa cultivates feeling compassion for her Sandpaper Person by considering how she must feel– it must be sad to never smile!
Act:
For example, while remaining kind and attentive, Lisa stops over-accommodating her Sandpaper Person in yoga class.
Practicing these new TFAs will be difficult at first. But it gets easier with practice. I’ve been practicing a new TFA with my Sandpaper People for months, and I am now seeing big results. But it’s taken time and persistence! Luckily, you won’t forget, as your Sandpaper Person won’t get any less annoying until you start unwrapping that gift of growth 😉
REFRESH + RENEW EVERY MONDAY WITH ILLUMINATE IN YOUR INBOX!
How do you want to FEEL as you unwrap your gift of growth? How will it feel to no longer be so agitated by your Sandpaper Person?
When is the next time you will interact with your Sandpaper Person? Can you imagine using your new TFA during this interaction?
How might you keep track of your progress towards unwrapping the gift from your Sandpaper Person?
See you next week– and good luck!!
Illuminate is a weekly e-mail series that provides practical tips + galvanizing inspirations for practicing an emotionally intelligent life. In our time together, we’ll operate from the assumption that you have all the wisdom you need inside of yourself + that you have a purpose the world needs to see. We will explore the tools + techniques to illuminate your own inner wisdom and purpose. If you’d like to receive this free gift of goodness in your inbox every week, subscribe here.
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Hi Maria
Very recently I have a had a argument with a very dear colleague of mine , it took me sometime but I tried to speak to this person but this person just wouldn’t talk. She’s always been helpful and think about this person. I feel sad and frustrated How do I manage that please help?
I’m so sorry to hear about this, Indraneel. It sounds like your relationship with this person means a lot to you, but that maybe they aren’t ready to reconnect quite yet. How could you continue to show them that you support them and care about them without pushing over their boundary?