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From Caring Comes Courage.
– Lao Tzu
Ancient Chinese Philosopher |
Preparing a presentation for a group of doctors, I was paralyzed by a terrible feeling of inadequacy. “Who am I to instruct physicians?” Reflecting on my reaction, I realized I’d fallen into the trap of the doctor-patient paradigm. Doctors are the experts, the keepers of knowledge, the decision makers — and in that paradigm, I am less. As my empathy returned, I realized that they are just as trapped by this paradigm, all of us are. The result: we’re losing the “care” in healthcare.
In antiquity, our field healed people through belief, influence, and care; our ancestor’s doctors used medicines, but the efficacy was in the human interaction. Gradually, through trial and error, they found herbs and treatments that increased the potency of the caring. Over time, the balance has shifted, so today healthcare is all about the medicines, caring has become the sideline. Caring has become the lost art of healing.
With the most effective medical system in the history of the world, does it really matter? I propose it does. It matters to the patient, and it matters to you, the healer. Unless medicine is firmly rooted in care, we lose the connection with our patients; we lose their respect and our self-respect. We lose the ability to influence patients toward health and are relegated to staving off disease and trauma. We lose the noble purpose of our work, and with it the motivation and commitment to the challenges we face.
Medicine has become so big, so expensive, so technical, so specialized it has escaped its origins as a human experience. Left unchecked, that depersonalization undermines the sacred mission of healing. Those closest to the patients have the best opportunity to turn this tide — it is both incredibly challenging and astoundingly easy.
So I prescribe the following treatment for ourselves, our patients and each other:
Rx — CARE — take 3x daily or as needed. |
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Compassion: Look beyond the disease and see the whole person struggling in a complex world. Listen to the stories, and share your own. Authenticity: Be real, be yourself. Meet each other as human beings. Renewal: Take time to care for yourself. Renew your physical, emotional and mental energy every day. Caring for others is draining, and without renewal you will weaken — so health professional, heal thyself. Empathy: Notice the feelings of the other person you are attending and let yourself feel too. Take time to acknowledge their pain, physical and emotional. Let them know that you know and understand how they are feeling. |
| Side effects may include far greater patient care, less medical errors, lower burnout, and an increased sense of purpose. Some patients experience more ups and downs, laughter and tears, and while they may find it disconcerting, it keeps them alive. |
Warmly yours,
– Tom
Tom Wojick
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Hi Tom, thanks for this ‘script’. I have a chronic illness and do believe that my emerging EQ had something to do with the remission I have largely been in for 30 years. (following an experience of profound Joy and rearranging my priorities towards celebrating life). I have great admiration for the skill and care of the doctors, however it is plain when their care is disconnected from the individual person, who is their patient.
I give respect, but also need their respect to know my own body and to have my own priorities. I resisted a surgeon who wanted to do exploratory surgery, when I had deep spasms. Instead, I listened to my body which told me that my intestines were ‘kinked’ and needed to relax and ‘un-kink’. I felt a lot of empathy for his look of anguish, because in his paradigm only medical knowledge was going to help. Yet, to his credit he didn’t cut me down mentally or emotionally, as some experts have done when I didn’t agree with them. My intestine happily unwound itself over a few days. I also understood that it was my risk, of course. During a procedure where my gynecologist tested the amniotic fluid, I surrendered completely to her skill and connected with my baby who promptly moved over, visible on the ultrasound screen, allowing the needle to harmlessly extract some fluid. Of course the baby may have just decided to move, but it was uncanny! At other times, I have watched as elderly patients gave up when the nursing staff forgot their empathy and harangued an elderly patient to ‘get out of bed’. Just some acknowledgement of her feelings, and some applied optimism and she was able to take control of her schedule and participate with confidence in her exercise regime. Without the spark of our spirit, and emotions dis-engaged I wonder at times, if illness is perhaps extended, surely our body’s resources work best when they can function and do their job with our support and confidence? It is a difficult situation for medical staff, when their fear takes over and the doctor patient relationship becomes controlling, rather than a dialogue. I feel for them, most of them really do want the best for their patients, not their bank account, or C.V’s. However, experience tells me, that we fail to achieve best outcomes, if we as patients don’t participate in our own care and if we don’t also respect and value the hard work, dedication and skill of our carers. I loved your ‘prescription’ as it reminds me to keep tapping into universal care, empathy, compassion and respect. The only path towards sanity and well-being, cheers Sandra