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Practice: Your Vision of Yourself

When people say they want to “change,” what they often mean is they want less of something painful and more of something they long for.

Less anxiety.
Less burnout.
Less numbness.

More energy.
More connection.
More meaning.

But before you can create that, you need to see it. Without that vision, we can’t direct our energy toward something generative. Instead, we stay stuck reacting to pain.

So try this:

• What do you want to experience more of in your life?
• What do you want to experience less of?
• What would it feel like to be you, thriving?

Imagine a snapshot of your thriving self – a kind of “balanced scorecard” across the different areas of your life. Here’s an example, or choose your own from the ideas below:

• Health – How do you feel in your body? What does your energy feel like?
• Relationships – How do you show up with others? What kind of connection do you seek?
• Work – What’s your contribution? Are you proud of what you’re creating?
• Community – Where do you belong? What impact do you want to make?

Make a chart with each area and the less/more questions. If you use the list above, it will look like this:

The four categories above might not be the ones you need. You can make your own categories; there are additional ideas below.

Once you’ve chosen your categories and filled in your chart, please consider:

• What feelings arise as I look at my list?
• Are there gaps between where I am and where I want to be? If so: What are some feelings that I’ve been pushing away or avoiding, that actually could help me tune into changes?
• How might connecting with and listening to your feelings help guide you toward what you really want?

Your Own Ingredients of a Flourishing Life

Here are two lists from which you can build your own categories:

The first comes from The Human Flourishing Program at Harvard’s Institute for Quantitative Social Science. They identified six core domains essential to human flourishing, as measured in The Global Flourishing Study, a collaboration between Harvard, Baylor University, Gallup, and the Center for Open Science.[1] Here are the six dimensions, with two self-assessment questions for each (from the study)

1. Meaning & Purpose: Overall, to what extent do you feel the things you do in your life are worthwhile? Do you understand your purpose in life?
2. Mental & Physical Health: In general, how would you rate your physical health? How would you rate your overall mental health?
3. Character & Virtue: Do you act to promote good in all circumstances, even in difficult and challenging situations? Are you able to give up some happiness now for greater happiness later?
4. Happiness & Life Satisfaction: Overall, how satisfied are you with life as a whole these days? In general, how happy or unhappy do you usually feel?
5. Financial & Material Stability: How often do you worry about being able to meet normal monthly living expenses? How often do you worry about safety, food, or housing?
6. Close Social Relationships: Are you content with your friendships and relationships? Are your relationships as satisfying as you want them to be?

The second is just a collection of several different domains you can consider to create your own list.

Why It Matters

Clayton Christensen, in his famous article “How Will You Measure Your Life” published in Harvard Business Review, challenged leaders to define success not by achievement, but by alignment: Did you spend your life doing what truly matters to you?[2]

Your thriving self is the version where you’re most in tune with what you care about. Where your energy is focused not on proving or being recognized, but on living more fully.

So pause. Take a moment. And ask yourself:
What does your thriving self look like?
And more importantly:
What does it feel like?

References

[1] Harvard Human Flourishing Program (n.d.) Global Flourishing Study. Harvard University, Institute for Quantitative Social Science. Available at:https://hfh.fas.harvard.edu/global-flourishing-study

[2] Christensen, C.M. (2010) ‘How will you measure your life?’, Harvard Business Review, 88(7/8), pp. 46–51.