What Is Emotional Intelligence? The Definition of EQ and How to Develop It
EQ helps us understand ourselves, make better decisions, and connect with others. It's not about being overly emotional or always staying calm – it's about being aware of how feelings influence our decisions, relationships, and performance, and learning to use that awareness on purpose.
On this page you'll find what emotional intelligence really means, why it matters more than ever, and practical, evidence-based ways to develop it – drawn from decades of research by Six Seconds, the world's largest emotional intelligence nonprofit.
What you'll find on this page
Emotions are data
Just as mathematical intelligence lets you solve numerical puzzles, emotional intelligence lets you solve complex emotional challenges. Emotions aren't good or bad – they're signals that carry useful information about ourselves, other people, and the situations we're in.
At its core, emotional intelligence is the practice of using emotions as data – noticing, understanding, and responding to feelings with clarity and purpose.
The Six Seconds Model of Emotional Intelligence
To help people put EQ into action, Six Seconds developed a practical, three-part process that anyone can use to improve emotional intelligence in daily life. Grounded in neuroscience and used in over 150 countries, it's one of the most widely used EQ frameworks in the world – and the foundation of the Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Assessment (SEI), taken by more than 500,000 people.
Build awareness of your feelings and patterns – noticing what you feel and how it shapes your thinking and behavior.
Pause, reflect, and act intentionally – using emotions as data to respond on purpose instead of reacting on autopilot.
Align your actions with purpose and values – responding with empathy, clarity, and a sense of something larger than yourself.
What the research shows
Six Seconds publishes peer-reviewed emotional intelligence research drawn from State of the Heart – the world's largest ongoing study of EQ.
Into the Headwinds: Women's EQ & Workplace Wellbeing
Analyzed 43,080 women across 114 countries. Three EQ capacities – Commitment, Resilience, and Proactivity – made women 8.6x more likely to report high wellbeing.
Read paperThe Emotional Recession
Global EQ scores declined 5.79% from 2019–2024 across 28,000 adults in 166 countries. People with higher EQ were 10x more likely to report strong life outcomes. Frontiers in Psychology, Freedman et al.
Read paperThe Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Assessment™
Because emotional intelligence is a set of learnable skills rather than a fixed trait, it can be measured – and what can be measured can be practiced, tracked, and grown.
The Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Assessment (SEI) turns the Model into a clear picture of the eight competencies across Know, Choose, and Give Yourself. It is scientifically validated, benchmarked across 200+ countries, and used by coaches, educators, and organizations worldwide – making it the most widely used measure of EQ there is.
Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Assessment
- Peer-reviewed and scientifically validated
- Measures the eight competencies of the Six Seconds Model
- Benchmarked against more than a million assessments
- Feeds the State of the Heart global research
Emotional intelligence matters more than ever
In a fast-changing world, EQ isn't a "nice to have" – it's essential for navigating complexity, leading effectively, and building a meaningful life. The rise of artificial intelligence is automating routine tasks and raising the value of what machines can't do: empathy, connection, and purpose-driven leadership. At the same time, people feel more overwhelmed and disconnected than ever.
Emotions are so incredibly valuable and yet discounted so much of the time. This course connects the dots to bring the value proposition of emotions to the workplace.Dawn Karner HR Training Manager, Cache Creek Casino
How to develop your emotional intelligence
The good news: emotional intelligence isn't fixed. It's a set of learnable skills you strengthen through consistent, intentional action. One simple way to start is this reflection based on the Six Seconds Model – 1-2-3 KCG.
Know Yourself
"What am I feeling right now? What else?"
Choose Yourself
"What options do I have? What are the consequences?"
Give Yourself
"What do I truly want – for myself and for others?"
Over time, these small moments become the foundation of greater self-awareness, stronger relationships, and better decision-making. The free Practicing EQ eBook and our live webinars are two easy ways to get started – and our certification courses teach in-depth emotional intelligence skills for home and work.
Which matters more?
Honestly, that's the wrong question. IQ and EQ aren't in competition – they're complementary. Emotional intelligence enables cognitive performance by helping us manage stress, stay motivated, and collaborate effectively.
Cognitive ability
Reasoning, logic, and technical skill. Valuable – but on its own, hard to sustain and apply in the messy reality of work and relationships.
Emotional & social skill
Self-awareness, empathy, and managing stress. EQ often predicts real-world success more accurately than IQ – especially in leadership and relationships.
Neuroscience tells us thinking and feeling are deeply intertwined: we don't think with one part of the brain and feel with another – we use both, together, all the time.
Where emotional intelligence came from
It can be argued that the study of emotional intelligence began roughly 2,000 years ago, when Plato wrote that all learning has an emotional base. But the term itself – as a scientifically testable form of intelligence – traces to a seminal 1990 article by researchers Peter Salovey and John Mayer.
The idea was later popularized by Daniel Goleman's 1995 bestseller, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Inspired by that work, in 1997 the Six Seconds team created a framework for teaching and practicing the skills of emotional intelligence – the practical, action-oriented model still used around the world today.
Frequently asked questions
What's the difference between EQ and IQ?
Can emotional intelligence be improved?
Is emotional intelligence the same as being nice?
How can I measure my emotional intelligence?
Who needs emotional intelligence?
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