Originally from our VitalSigns newsletter, this article identifies the “Four Cs of Trust” and introduces an approach to earn trust.
EQ VitalSigns: Earning Trust
“The chief lesson I have learned in a long life is that the only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him; and the surest way to make him untrustworthy is to distrust him and show your distrust.
- Henry L. Stimson
Recap of last issue on Trust:
One of the most important VitalSigns of a healthy climate is TRUST. When your people trust you, they dig deeper, listen better, and forgive more readily. When trust is low, there is more resistance, more fear, and communication doesn’t work as well (because people don’t believe each other).
In the last issue we talked about paying attention to trust as a two-way street, and using your feelings of distrust as a “barometer” to measure how others trust you. If you practiced the “trust test” you probably found some people and situations where your trust level is not high. Do you believe those people have less trust in you too?
In the next issue we’ll talk about discussing the trust issues — but first invest a little time in practicing the Trust Cs.
Earning Trust:
Trust is built from the Trust Cs:
- Commitment = Following through consistently
- Caring = Showing the other person matters
- Consistency = Reacting in a somewhat predictable way
- Competence = Demonstrating ability to meet commitment
You are probably reasonably competent, caring, and committed. And, if you are bluntly honest with yourself, you can probably see that there is more you can do to actively show one or more of these Trust Cs. So try this:
Think of a situation where trust is diminished but not totally broken — and where you want to improve. Take a moment to review the last few interactions you’ve had with this person.
Now, think about the interactions from the other person’s point of view — do they SEE and FEEL your Trust Cs?
Over the next weeks, practice making your Trust Cs more visible:
Commitment = This C usually is broken because of very small compromises. You promise to call someone tomorrow, but it takes three days. You agree to fight for new desk chairs, but the opportunity doesn’t seem to come up. People who have trouble with this C may feel like their in crisis a lot so they’re reacting instead of leading. Practice making very small commitments (such as, “I’ll email you today”) and doing it.
Caring = It’s easy to let caring slip amidst the daily demands of work — your work is important but it feels mundane. People perceive this and make assumptions about your trustworthiness. You can show more caring by giving appreciations to people and activities. “I appreciate that you’re working so hard.” “I appreciate that we’re doing this work together.”
Consistency = People can trust a grouchy tyrant who is, at least, consistent. While everybody can have better and worse days, they get “thrown” if you’re sometimes an angel and sometimes a monster. Maintaining your own balance is challenging, and self-care is a critical component. If you do “fly off” sometimes, circle back and take ownership of the inconsistency.
Competence = People may question your competence if they don’t get to see you in action. Don’t just walk the floor, work the floor! Let your staff see you skillfully doing great work.
Next time we’ll go through a wonderful and challenging technique called “Trust Alliance.”
Warmly,
Joshua Freedman is the COO of Six Seconds and the author of At the Heart of Leadership: How To Get Results With Emotional Intelligence, and co-author of the Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Assessment (SEI).
Joshua Freedman
Part of the Six Seconds' founding team, Josh is one of the world leading experts on emotions, change, and performance. One of a handful of people with proven experience creating organizational performance through EQ, Freedman leads a world-wide network of EQ change agents. (sd)
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