THE SIX SECONDS MODEL

The Six Seconds Model of Emotional Intelligence: A Practical Guide to EQ in Action

What is emotional intelligence – and how do you actually use it in real life?

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the capacity to blend thinking and feeling to make optimal decisions – which is key to having a successful relationship with yourself and others.

In 1995, Daniel Goleman's bestselling book introduced the idea that EQ matters as much as IQ for success in life, work, and relationships. As the concept caught on worldwide, one question kept coming up: this makes sense, but how do I actually practice emotional intelligence?

That question is what led to the creation of Six Seconds – and to this model.

Developed in 1997 by a team of educators and researchers, the Six Seconds Model gives you a practical, simple way to learn and apply emotional intelligence. Rather than just describing what EQ is, it's built as a process – a way to actually grow your emotional intelligence, moment by moment, in everyday life.

What is emotional intelligence?

What you'll find on this page

Overview of the Six Seconds Model Know, Choose & Give Yourself The eight EQ competencies How emotional intelligence is measured Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions Frequently asked questions
DESIGNED FOR ACTION

Overview of the Six Seconds Model of Emotional Intelligence

Most emotional intelligence models describe what EQ is. The Six Seconds Model goes a step further – it shows you how to practice it in daily life.

At the heart of the model are three pursuits that form a continuous cycle of growth – Know Yourself, Choose Yourself, and Give Yourself. It's not a fixed trait or personality type, but a set of skills you can build over time, moment by moment.

Under the three pursuits sit eight specific, learnable, measurable competencies, tracked through the Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Assessment (SEI). Here's how they break down.

Know Yourself:

To become more aware – noticing what you do. Emotions are data; these competencies help you accurately collect it.

Choose Yourself:

To become more intentional – doing what you mean to do, instead of reacting on autopilot.

Give Yourself:

To become more purposeful – doing it for a reason, leading with integrity and connection.

THE EIGHT COMPETENCIES

Eight skills, three pillars

Each pursuit is built from specific, learnable competencies – the practical skills that turn the model into daily practice.

Know Yourself

Clearly seeing what you feel and do.
Emotions are data – these competencies let you accurately collect that information.
Competencies
  • Enhance Emotional Literacy – accurately identifying and interpreting both simple and compound feelings.
  • Recognize Patterns – acknowledging frequently recurring reactions and behaviors.

Choose Yourself

Doing what you mean to do.
Instead of reacting on autopilot, these competencies let you proactively respond.
Competencies
  • Apply Consequential Thinking – evaluating the costs and benefits of your choices.
  • Navigate Emotions – assessing, harnessing, and transforming emotions as a strategic resource.
  • Engage Intrinsic Motivation – gaining energy from personal values and commitments rather than external pressure.
  • Exercise Optimism – taking a proactive perspective of hope and possibility.

Give Yourself

Doing it for a reason.
These competencies help you put your vision and mission into action, so you lead on purpose and with full integrity.
Competencies
  • Increase Empathy – recognizing, connecting with, and appropriately responding to others' emotions.
  • Pursue Noble Goals – connecting your daily choices with your overarching sense of purpose.
HOW WE MEASURE IT

The Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Assessment™

A model is only useful if you can see where you actually stand. The Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Assessment (SEI) turns this framework into measurement – scoring each of the eight competencies, so you know which ones are carrying you and which ones need practice.

It takes about twenty minutes and returns a personalized report: your scores competency by competency, the patterns behind them, and prioritized steps for what to work on next. The SEI is scientifically validated, benchmarked across 200+ countries, and the most widely used measure of emotional intelligence in the world.

Taken by 1M+ people worldwide Published in peer-reviewed journals Validated across 200+ countries
Explore the SEI See all assessments
SEI assessment
SEI

What the SEI measures

77 questions · about 20 minutes
Know Yourself
  • Enhance Emotional Literacy
  • Recognize Patterns
Choose Yourself
  • Apply Consequential Thinking
  • Navigate Emotions
  • Engage Intrinsic Motivation
  • Exercise Optimism
Give Yourself
  • Increase Empathy
  • Pursue Noble Goals
Free Resource

Download our free Practicing EQ eBook

A perfect introduction to the Six Seconds Model – evidence-based exercises to help you understand and work with emotions, plus tools to grow the EQ of your clients, students, or team. Includes a free Plutchik Wheel of Emotions poster.

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Six Seconds
Practicing EQ
“
Emotions are so incredibly valuable and yet discounted so much of the time. This course connects the dots to bring the value proposition of emotions to the workplace.
Dawn Karner HR Training Manager, Cache Creek Casino
EMOTIONS ARE DATA

Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions and the Six Seconds Model

At the heart of emotional intelligence is this idea: emotions are data. They're not good or bad – they're signals that help us navigate our inner and outer worlds. That's why Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions shows up in many Six Seconds trainings – a visual tool that builds emotional literacy, the foundation of Know Yourself.

The wheel maps eight core emotions – joy, trust, fear, surprise, sadness, disgust, anger, and anticipation – and shows how they intensify from mild to intense, or blend into more complex feelings. "Apprehension," for example, can deepen into "fear," then "terror" – or combine with another emotion to become something else entirely.

  • Recognize subtle differences in what you feel
  • Expand your emotional vocabulary
  • Avoid judging emotions as "good" or "bad"
  • Understand that every emotion carries useful information
ecstacy joy serenity admiration trust acceptance terror fear apprehension amazement surprise distraction grief sadness pensiveness loathing disgust boredom rage anger annoyance vigilance anticipation interest love submission awe disapproval remorse contempt aggressiveness optimism
FAQ

Frequently asked questions

What is emotional intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is the capacity to blend thinking and feeling to make optimal decisions – noticing what you and others feel, understanding what those feelings mean, and using that information on purpose. It shows up as clearer choices, stronger relationships, and leadership grounded in values rather than reaction. Read the full definition ›
How does the Six Seconds Model work?
The Model is a process, not a list of traits. Know Yourself gives you accurate information about what you feel and why. Choose Yourself turns that information into a deliberate response instead of an automatic one. Give Yourself connects the choice to purpose and to other people. Each pursuit is built from specific competencies you can practice and measure, so the model works as a loop you run in the moment – not a theory you memorize.
Can emotional intelligence actually be learned?
Yes. Emotional intelligence is a set of learnable skills rather than a fixed personality trait, and it can be strengthened at any age. That is the whole premise the Six Seconds Model was built on: after Daniel Goleman’s 1995 book made the case that EQ matters, the open question was how do I practice it? – and a process you can repeat is a very different thing from a description of what good looks like.
Why does emotional intelligence matter more now?
As routine work is automated, the value shifts toward what machines cannot do – empathy, connection, judgment under pressure, and purpose-driven leadership. At the same time, global EQ scores have been falling and burnout has been rising. That combination makes emotional skill both scarcer and more valuable than it was a decade ago. See the research ›
How is the Six Seconds Model measured?
Through the Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Assessment (SEI), which scores each of the eight competencies in the Model. It takes about twenty minutes and returns a personalized report with your scores, the patterns behind them, and prioritized next steps. The SEI is scientifically validated and benchmarked across 200+ countries. Explore the SEI ›
What tools can help me practice the Model?
The free Practicing EQ eBook is the most direct place to start – activities, reflection questions, and worksheets built around the three pursuits, plus a Wheel of Emotions poster. From there, live webinars and EQ Cafés let you practice with other people, and our certification programs go deep enough to teach the Model to others. See all the ways to begin ›
START HERE

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