Why True Leaders Must Think Like Trainers:
How to Use Emotional Intelligence to Excel in a Leadership Role

By Lorenzo Fariselli
Regional Network Director, Europe & Italy

In most organizations, it’s the trainer who supports the leader.
But what if we turned that around? What if leaders themselves adopted the approach, mindset, and tools of a trainer? Because in the end, that’s what truly sets a good manager apart from a real leader.

Creating Change: The Heart of Training and Leadership

Let’s take a step back.

In 2005, while sitting in a lecture hall at the University of Padua, my professor of Training and Empowerment of the Person singled me out with a question in front of a hundred classmates: “Hey, you! Yes, you. What is the goal of a trainer?” I’d love to say I gave a brilliant answer, but as I recall, I mostly just scratched my head. Even though I didn’t respond, I’ve never forgotten what he said next: “The goal of a trainer is to create change.”

That idea stuck with me.

A trainer helps people grow, knowing that real change means understanding both their own learning process and that of others. Over time, I realized something else: the process is the content. How a trainer communicates shapes how their message is received. You don’t just act as a trainer—you are a trainer. And your alignment with that role defines your impact.

The same is true of leaders.

A leader holds a directional role, influencing others toward shared goals. And that influence, by its very nature, creates change. Like trainers, leaders guide people from point A to point B. Their effectiveness depends not just on strategy or authority, but on their ability to connect, teach, and grow with those they lead. Which brings us back to the core insight: true leadership demands the mindset, presence, and skills of a trainer. Because whether you’re leading or training, the ultimate goal is the same—to create change.

What Leaders Need to Know to Create Change

Trainers understand that creating change starts with self-work and understanding how people learn. However, in my experience working with leaders, I’ve noticed that this knowledge is often lacking in leadership roles.
Why? I propose two key reasons:

1. Leadership Requires Personal Transformation
   If being a boss is uncomfortable, being a leader is even more so because it requires deep personal transformation. One cannot simply pretend to be a leader. Leadership is something you are or are not. This transformation pushes individuals out of their comfort zones, triggering a primitive fight-flight-freeze response. Because leadership involves emotional discomfort, many resist it.Unfortunately, businesses often fail to support this transformation. In Italy, only 18% of corporate investment goes to human resource development, compared to 59% allocated to operational process development. Globally, 40% is invested in human resource development (source: Deloitte). This imbalance perpetuates a cycle of neglecting soft skills, leading to burnout—96% of leaders experience it (Harvard Medical School). Companies must prioritize leadership development and provide the necessary tools for success.
2. Hierarchy Creates a False Sense of Control
   Hierarchy allows a boss to achieve short-term outcomes through authority. This provides a sense of control and immediate satisfaction, making hierarchy a psychological comfort zone. However, relying on authority doesn’t foster long-term growth. Employees may feel like mere cogs in a machine, leading to disengagement, higher turnover, or even entrepreneurial departures. Organizations must recognize that leadership requires a shift from authority-based control to influence-based guidance.

The Strategic Power of Emotional Intelligence

This is where Emotional Intelligence (EQ) becomes a game-changer. EQ equips leaders with the skills to manage emotions effectively, both their own and those of their teams. True leadership starts from within—embracing emotions, even the uncomfortable ones, and developing self-awareness.

An emotionally intelligent leader can integrate emotional data into decision-making, fostering a more engaged and motivated workforce. Developing EQ enables leaders to:

• Shift from control to autonomy by asking more questions and issuing fewer commands.
• Move from gap analysis to mastery by focusing on strengths rather than deficiencies.
• Transition from personal goals to shared goals, fostering a sense of purpose and co-creation.

Each of these dimensions deserves deeper exploration, but they all converge on a single point: without Emotional Intelligence, leadership risks becoming superficial—focused on doing rather than being. Cultivating EQ is a continuous journey of self-improvement, blending emotion with logic to create truly effective leaders.

Leadership isn’t just about authority or technical skills—it’s about transformation, both personal and organizational. To lead effectively, one must think like a trainer, mastering the art of guiding change. And at the core of this transformation is Emotional Intelligence: the key to unlocking true leadership potential.