Where Do You Want The Ball To Go?

Where Do You Want The Ball To Go?

I’ve noticed something intriguing – if you have no idea what result you want, you’re unlikely to get it. My skills at pool/billiards are terrible, but I still can plan ahead and think about how I’m going to whack the cue ball to get a particular result. Isn’t this true of all of our interactions? If we decide “where we want the ball to go” in our meetings, conversations, interactions… then it’s much more probably we can make that happen.

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The Way You Are

The Way You Are

Does unconditional love mean you accept people fully — without wanting them to be better?  As a parent, does it mean you don’t push your kids to do better?  As a spouse, does it mean you don’t encourage your partner to grow?  As a manager, does it mean you accept ho-hum performance? Is there a […]

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14 Tips for Helping Children with Emotional Intelligence

14 Tips for Helping Children with Emotional Intelligence

An excellent post by Elizabeth O’Shea with 14 clear, powerful ideas about being an emotionally intelligent parent. Here are the first 3 – how would it be to put these into action? 1. Accept our children’s emotions and emotional responses ‘That must have been really frustrating’ ‘Wow, you are showing me how angry you feel’ ‘That’s […]

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Are American Parents That Bad? You Decide

Are American Parents That Bad? You Decide

Last week I read an article in the Wall Street Journal that headlined, ‘Why French Parents Are Superior’ written by author of ‘Bringing Up Bebe,’ American Pamela Druckerman. Funnily enough, almost exactly a year ago, the Wall Street Journal published an article headlined, ‘Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior’ written by Amy Chua, author of the […]

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Feel the Power: Flexing EQ

Feel the Power: Flexing EQ

The use of power is central to our interactions as leaders, coaches, parents, and change agents. To be more effective, emotional intelligence will help us understand and tune up our own use of power and the ways people react to that. There are dozens, maybe hundreds, of different forms of power. All of these “work” in some sense. If they generate certain desired there are “benefits.” At the same time, each produces unwanted side effects, called “costs.” What are some of the forms of power that you have, and that you exercise? What happens when you exercise these different forms of power? What price do you pay for each such use?

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Have Empathy And Honesty Gone Down The Drain?

Have Empathy And Honesty Gone Down The Drain?

I heard a tale recently that appalled and fascinated me at the same time. The tale was told to me as a funny story, a hilarious situation. But I was more circumspect. A girl, about eight or nine, had been out with her sister, parents and grandparents. While she was out, she’d visited a public […]

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Sibling Rivalry: Jealousy and Love

Sibling Rivalry: Jealousy and Love

I was seventeen years old and had been an only child for that entire time. I had reveled in having no rival for my parent’s love and attention. But then in the spring of 1957, my mother reported she felt nauseated. She’d recently taken a bad fall and only went to the doctor because my […]

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The Cusp of Tomorrow

The Cusp of Tomorrow

It’s a glorious sunny day here on the Central Coast of California — I was just writing to some of our international office Directors (now we have 10, and an 11th coming soon) — and I realized that it’s already 2012 in many Six Seconds offices.  So many different weathers at the one moment.  So […]

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My Son Caleb

My Son Caleb

It was two days after Christmas 1998, and my son, Caleb, and I were sitting in front of a roaring fire with cups of hot chocolate and we were reminiscing about previous Christmas days – those memories that made us laugh or cry. And I said to Caleb, “And what during all these years (Caleb […]

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Turning New Corners

Turning New Corners

Life is full of these moments of transition, of uncertainty and discovery.  People coming and going, growing up, moving away, coming back… waves on the sand, life seems to be continuously in flux, and you just can’t hold it still. Yesterday I delivered Emma to her first sleep-away summer camp; she’ll be there for three […]

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