Yes, emotional intelligence is a must-have… but how do you actually use it? The Six Seconds Model of Emotional Intelligence is a process framework for putting EQ into action — three steps to be better at “surfing the waves of emotion” — with balance and power to move forward. Here are 15 quick videos to show you how.


The Six Seconds Model is a three-step process: Tune in to be more aware. Slow down to be more intentional. Step forward to be more purposeful. We put the three steps into a circle because it’s a continuous process. But how do we get better at emotional intelligence?

There are eight specific, learnable, measurable competencies that make it work. They’re like muscles we can strengthen — these muscles allow us to follow the three steps.

Know Yourself — Tune in to be more aware.

Muscles: Enhance Emotional Literacy & Recognize Patterns.

Enhance Emotional Literacy means getting better at naming and understanding feelings.
Video 1: What is emotional literacy? 
Video 2: More about enhancing emotional literacy.

Recognize Patterns means noticing your own typical reactions.
Video 1: How can I get better at recognizing patterns?  
Video 2: What are patterns, and what’s the neuroscience behind this?

Choose Yourself — Slow down to be more intentional.

Muscles: Apply Consequential Thinking. Navigate Emotions. Engage Intrinsic Motivation. Exercise Optimism.

Apply Consequential Thinking means pausing to assess the impact of your choices before you jump in.
Video 1: What is Apply Consequential Thinking? 
Video 2: More about Applying Consequential Thinking.

Navigate Emotions means working WITH your feelings to move forward in a positive way.
Video: Definition of Navigate Emotions.

Engage Intrinsic Motivation means fueling your energy from the inside.
Video: Definition of Engage Intrinsic Motivation.

Exercise Optimism means choosing to see options and find solutions.
Video: How do I increase optimism?

Give Yourself – Step forward to be more purposeful.

Muscles: Increase Empathy & Pursue Noble Goals.

Increase Empathy means connecting with others’ feelings.
Video 1: What is Increase Empathy?
Video 2: How do you increase empathy?

Pursue Noble Goals means putting purpose into action, now.
Video 1: What is a Noble Goal?
Video 2: Definition of Pursue Noble Goals.
Video 3: How do you use a Noble Goal to be more emotionally intelligent?
Video 4: How do I Pursue noble goals?

Three Steps: Emotional Intelligence into Action

Finally, here’s the process, summarized in two minutes:


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Joshua Freedman

Joshua is one of the world’s preeminent experts on developing emotional intelligence to create positive change. With warmth and authenticity, he translates leading-edge science into practical, applicable terms that improve the quality of relationships to unlock enduring success. Joshua leads the world’s largest network of emotional intelligence practitioners and researchers.
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