EQ News - The Sun is New

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September 22, 1999

The Sun Is New Each Day

Emma wakes up each morning laughing and
smiling -- even when she has had a grumpy night or
driven us to the brink by refusing to go to sleep.
Recently I was away at Odyssey School's beginning-
of-school leadership camp, Patty and Emma came
too, and I asked the kids if there is a lesson in
Emma's morning cheerfulness. Their answers ran
a gamut:
"Be optimistic, because that's more satisfying."
"Live in the present because this moment is all
you have."
"When you are a baby, you don't remember the
bad things."
"If you get enough sleep, you are happy."
"You really love her."
"If you start with smiling, then the people you
care about will be happy."

As Patty and I talked to the kids, and later to each
other, I found more and more lessons in Emmaís
morning joy.

Patty reminded me that as a teacher it is hard to let
students "start fresh" each day -- expectations,
frustrations, positives and negative seem to build up.
But with Emma, she said, "We give each other the
gift of total forgiveness. Even if the night before I was
so mad that I wanted to scream, the morning is a
new start."
Both of us found that in our schools, we knew a great
deal about each child and family, and that there was
an expectation that teachers would tell one another
all about the kids in their classes. One teacher
friend has a policy where she does not want to hear
anything about the kids in her class from other
teachers. When she has a problem or issue and is
stuck, she asks other teachers if they have
suggestions or specific information -- but she wants
to start fresh with them. The point is giving each
child permission to be who s/he is now.

Likewise, with middle schoolers a frequent
challenge for kids is that their friends do not "allow"
them to change. By expecting a certain set of
behavior, you almost guarantee that you will get that
behavior.

One of my favorite Anabel quotes is, "Treat people
the way you want them to be." For me, maybe that's
the lesson that Emma is teaching me each bubbly
morning. "Hey dad, I know you are happy to be
awake and playing with me," she seems to say. And
some mornings it takes me longer to get the
message, but before long I am.

Another lesson for me is that while I practice living in
the moment, the pain passes. Right now, Emma is
trying to fall asleep, and I am listening to her sad
crying right now (she does not like falling asleep so
much...) -- it is getting softer, little obligatory protests;
all of us feel a little sad. But tomorrow morning, we
will wake up to Emma kicking us and laughing, to
her smiling just from seeing us in a new day.

- Josh

Footnote: "The sun is new each day" -- Heraclitus (ca 500 BCE). 8-)
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© 1999 Freedman, Six Seconds
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