EQ News

a free online feature from Six Seconds EQ Network,
emotional intelligence for schools, families, and organizations around the globe

November 19, 2006 EQ Reflection: A Higher Standard Reflecting on two recent interactions with his children, Josh considers the "small ways of cheating" and the opportunities he has to more truly live according to his values.
November 4, 2006 EQ Reflection: A Shrinking Globe? At 40,000 feet the world is smaller -- but I see less of it than did Phileas Fogg. I have this sense that I am skimming the surface of vast complexity, seeing only the largest peaks and valleys. As we move further and faster, it seems we need new navigational skills. Not so much using the stars to find our way across vast oceans, but using our hearts to find our way across the chasms of bias and assumption.
October 24, 2006 EQ News: Daniel Pink, Leadership, Singapore Take a moment to find out about Nov EQ courses in Singapore, a new Daniel Pink interview, measuring the X-Factor, web update, Optimism for leaders, and NexusEQ call for papers....
September 20, 2006 EQ News, September 06 New articles, upcoming courses, and latest EQ development tools.
August 22, 2006 EQ Reflection: Revising Stories of Love and Loss We all tell ourselves stories to make sense of our experiences. We create meaning, often on scant evidence, and cling to it as truth about others, the universe, and ourselves. Then we make more and more stories to reinforce and confirm the earlier ones. So through my own stories, I came to know myself as unpopular, maybe even (in my secret fears) unlovable.

What stories still haunt your memory attic? Do you sometimes forget these are autobiographical fiction, and begin to doubt the hard-earned truths of yourself?
July 29, 2006 EQ Reflection: We Feel Fine (?) We Feel Fine was conceived and created by Jonathan Harris and Sepandar Kamvar -- a tool Josh describes as "a remarkable interface to the human experience." This article explains the tool and talks about some of the emotional data mined from hundreds of thousands of people world-wide.
July 24, 2006 EQ News, July 2006
June 6, 2006 EQ News: June 06
Another great month for those interested in emotional intelligence! New research, web updates, programs, trainings, and conferences below.

If you know any youth artists, the due date for the 2007 Handle With Care EQ Calendar art contest is coming June 15 - www.6seconds.org/library.php
May 3, 2006 EQ Reflection: Like Riding a Bike Getting on a bicycle for the first time in over 20 years, Josh wonders about the untapped strengths we all have -- and the fears that keep the strengths hidden.
April 28, 2006 EQ News - April 2006 Updates on numerous events and web improvements -- including an announcement about new Certification Training programs, and the updated comparison of emotional intelligence tests
March 24, 2006 EQ Reflection: Jury Duty, Leadership, and Emotions Called to Jury Duty, Josh is surprised both by the EQ leadership demonstrated by the judge - and his own reaction to an old memory. Emotions are powerful!
February 2, 2006 EQ News, February 2006 A quick update about an invaluable new program for professionals, the 2006 EQ Activity Calendar, and a research tidbit.
January 23, 2006 EQ Reflection: Healing In this third story, Josh's wife comes home from the hospital and is on the road to health. He reflects on holding onto the lessons of the experience.
January 16, 2006 EQ Reflection: Recovering Josh's wife continues to recover at the hospital, and he is working on being patient as she's working on being a patient.
January 14, 2006 EQ Reflection: The Waiting Patty, Josh's wife, is in surgery and he's in the waiting room grappling with the challenge.
December 21, 2005 EQ Reflection: In the Bleak Midwinter Josh reflects on a recent argument with his wife as a representation of a fundamental human struggle to live in peace. In cultures all over the world this commitment is symbolized by lighting a candle to mark the returning of light.
December 6, 2005 EQ Reflection: Seasons and Help A reflection on the lastest work in the Six Seconds network, a request for help, and thoughts about the "changing season" of family.
November 2, 2005 EQ Reflection: What's Important? Announcement about a new interview with Annie McKee on Resonant Leadership and a reflection on What's Important.

What's important to you?

This article is about what's important in my family and life -- and how we each choose the kind of world we'll have.
October 24, 2005 Making a Difference Project This project will help us understand how "ordinary people" make such a difference in the lives of others. If someone made a real difference in your life, please read the article and fill in the survey.
August 20, 2005 EQ News: Three New Tools We have three new products that will be of great value to people involved in EQ -- two for everyone (SEI test and The Journey to Wild Divine), and one for trainers (Sneetch Marbles). Please check these out!
July 13, 2005 EQ Reflection: Behind the Veil We live in a time of turmoil and uncertainly, and if we accept the world that we see in newspaper headlines, it is all too easy to forget that the vast majority of people in the world are good, caring, human beings just like us.

I was recently the Chairman of the first Emotional and Spiritual Intelligence Conference in the Middle East, a three-day program in Dubai in the United Arab Emirates. I wrote this article on the last day of the conference.
May 31, 2005 EQ Reflection: Don't Just Do Something... A major challenge of emotional intelligence is being aware of your own reactions. As Josh found when Max started screaming "baaad daaaddddy" outside the store, these reactions can cause us to take over responsibility for problems and issues that not ours to solve -- sometimes we need to "just sit there."
March 24, 2005 March EQ News Update from Six Seconds All kinds of activity for Spring 2005 including new conferences, trainings, events, and assessments.
February 16, 2005 EQ Reflection: Exercise or Die? Launching into a new commitment to improve his health, Josh looks at three key EQ tools for making change.
January 4, 2005 EQ Reflection: The Roof Is Falling? I think if it was me who'd lost my family in Aceh, I would want all the pain and loss to amount to something. I would want people to help, and also to feel -- to make meaning of the loss, to help myself and others live more carefully as a result.
December 7, 2004 EQ Reflection: A Context for Love After telling the children a bedtime story about Chanukah, Josh reflects on the miracle of love -- and wonders what would happen if each chose to be a beacon to the next generation.
December 6, 2004 EQ News: EQ Alliance and Holland Dates New Project Linking People Committed to Emotional Intelligence: The EQ Alliance. The interim
mission: A world-wide association sharing information
and commitment to enhance emotional intelligence
training, education, and research. ( http://www.nexusEQ.com/assoc/ )
November 27, 2004 EQ Reflection: Thanksgiving on Baghdad Street Finding himself at an Arab restaurant in Singapore shortly after Thanksgiving, Josh reflects on how the complexity of the world is part of it's delight.
October 26, 2004 EQ News: Events, Survey, Products, and New Online Upcoming emotional intelligence events, new products, and what's new online this October, 2004.
October 6, 2004 EQ Reflection: Little Miss Bossy Pants? Struggling with Emma's strong will, Josh asks for advice about "de-bossing."
October 1, 2004 EQ Reflection: A View from the Gingerbread House Helping to construct a two-story gingerbread bake shop, Josh rediscovers two essential tools for creativity: Eliminating Impossible and Renewing Vision. These practices require our emotional awareness and emotional self-management -- and are essential for innovation and discovery.
July 23, 2004 EQ Reflection: Rat Warrior Killing my first rat was easy -- too easy. It led me to wonder about this side of myself, the Rat Warrior side, that I thought I'd managed to hide away. Perhaps we all have a “Rat Warrior” inside, a powerful, angry drive for action. Do we have to give in to that? Hide it? Or can there be a reconciliation?
July 9, 2004 EQ Reflection: Until It's Gone Reflecting on appreciation: "It's amazing to wake up without pain -- something I take for granted most of the time."
July 1, 2004 EQ Reflection: The Nature of Stress Today I felt distressed. Life seemed just too complex, the pressures to large, the mountains too high. This stress affected my thinking and feeling in a downward spiral of gloom. To get out, I tried two time-tested techniques: Weeding and Listening -- they have some common elements that make a powerful difference.
June 2, 2004 EQ Reflection: Customer (and Daddy) Delight While businesses strive for the kind of service that creates customer delight, they've left it as an abstract concept. It takes a 3-year-old to teach the REAL meaning of delight.
May 17, 2004 EQ Reflection: Inspiration, Emotional Presence, and Emotional Depth In a recent EQ Certification Training, Josh observed two important competencies for EQ trainers and leaders: Emotional Presence and Emotional Depth.
April 8, 2004 EQ Reflection: The Overcoming of It (Sea Glass) Finding sea glass on the beach, polished by the surf and sand, Josh is reminded how people overcome adversity -- and how like the sea polishes the glass, the pain polishes our hearts.
March 29, 2004 EQ Yummy Byte: Problem-solving vs. creation? Peter Senge talks about the pervasiveness of reactiveness visible in the constant pursuit of problem solving -- rather than creation. This change is faciliated by an emotional shift.
March 5, 2004 EQ Reflection: Walking on New Sand Rituals of Renewal are a simple mechanism to restore energy and attention -- and get out of the confusion that sets in when we've been on overload.
February 26, 2004 EQ Reflections: Precious Feelings When someone is experiencing a strong feeling, sometimes we "try to help" by telling her or him "it's not so bad." This attempt to minimize the negative experience -- to save someone from the struggle, actually undermines the effort to help.
February 14, 2004 EQ Reflection: Fight or Flow Part Two: "Water Is Stronger" This second half of "Fight or Flow" explores the alternative to the kinds of "hitting back first" reactions discussed in part one. To constructively engage with emotions requires reframing the way we think -- and feel -- about feelings.
January 30, 2004 EQ Reflection: Uncommon Vision Walking together on the beach, Josh's 83-year-old grandmother sees beauty in the mundane -- and he wonders how we can all learn to engage with the world this way.
December 29, 2003 EQ Reflection: Sheltering Arms A father's arms sheltering his sleeping son is a metaphor of a universal human quest for acceptance. Where do we find it, and what happens when we do?
December 17, 2003 EQ Reflection: This Little Light of Mine After seeing Emma's holiday show, Josh wonders about "this little light of mine." Is your "little light" shining? What allows it to shine brighter, what diminishes it? How do you affect the lights of others?
December 1, 2003 EQ Reflection: Fight or Flow Part I: "Hit Back First" At the core of emotional intelligence is a choice between consciousness and reactivity. "Fight or Flow" explores that choice and provides practical strategies for practicing emotional intelligence.
November 25, 2003 EQ Reflection: Tips for an EQ Holiday Perhaps the most distressing aspect of family holidays is how most (all?) of us suddenly "snap back" to our adolescent patterns of conflict and power. Others find holidays depressing because people like me are writing about the difficulties of family interaction and they're wishing they had some of that mess. Between the conflict and the isolation, clearly the holidays are a fabulous time to practice emotional intelligence.
November 24, 2003 EQ Reflection: EI Assessment A review of the Emotional Intelligence Appraisal Multi Rater.
November 11, 2003 EQ Reflection: Listen or Tell In the continuing struggle to find peace in a house with two preschoolers, Josh gets two very different pieces of advice on parenting. In this reflection, he identifies some of the differences and the implication for parents and for consultants, managers, and leaders.
October 24, 2003 EQ Reflection: Linking Up In the Wide World I'm in the business center of the ANA Hotel in Singapore, waiting for the print driver to download so I can use my Mac in this PC world. Culturally and technologically displaced. It's a metaphor for the various worlds we all travel in. We're all struggling to stay connected in the constant flow of change, to maintain a balance on this moving surface.
October 6, 2003 EQ Reflection: The Real Deal How well can you tell if someone is "faking" their smile? Most people can tell -- so what are the implications for individuals and for organizations?
September 22, 2003 EQ Reflection: "The Forest" plus a personal request When Josh took Emma and Max to visit the forest, Emma used magical thinking and the principle of care to reshape her fear.
September 12, 2003 EQ News: Outstanding Events! A listing of fabulous EQ learning opportunities for Fall 2003 and Winter 2004.
September 9, 2003 EQ Reflection: Clearing the Cobwebs You know the expression, "Clearing the cobwebs from my mind?" Today, I was clearing cobwebs from the garage, and started thinking about "clearing cobwebs from my heart." What cobwebs are in your heart, and how do you clear them?
September 5, 2003 EQ Reflection: "Time Flies" and "Keep on Parenting" Two articles in one -- a practical approach to keeping the "to do list" and a story about working to create some peace in the house (and succeeding a little!)
August 21, 2003 EQ Reflection: That's MY (whatever) Anyone whose watched preschoolers has heard descants of "That's MY (whatever)" and knows that jealousy is one of the core human emotions. Children's jealousy is a major challenge for most adults -- perhaps in part because jealousy is also difficult for us as adults. Today Max's best friend, Addison (AKA "Addy boy"), was over this evening, and we conducted some unplanned experiments about this challenging feeling.
August 10, 2003 EQ Reflection: It's Just Too Complicated! Sometimes life just feels too complicated. So what do you do when you get to the "end of your rope"? It's easy to see that being a father makes life more complicated -- but the complexity is worth the benefit.
August 4, 2003 Test, please ignore test
July 23, 2003 EQ Reflection: Time Out Emma explains what parents should do when their kids act out.
July 2, 2003 EQ Reflection: "Because I Said So" and Other Ways of Leading The Fourth of July is coming soon, Independence Day here in the US. In honor of that, here is an article about struggling with independence and motivating employees (and kids) to be a little less… well... independent!
July 1, 2003 England EQ Adventures and Wisdom for the Short and Long On a recent trip to speak at the Ei(UK) conference, Josh had the chance to interact with numerous EQ advocates -- here are some of the lessons from the conference and those dialogues.
June 26, 2003 EQ Reflection: Key Learnings form the Halifax EQ Conference In a tour-de-force of emotional intelligence learning, the speakers and delegates of the HRANS/NexusEQ Conference explored critical themes for improving performance. The three-day conference in Halifax, Nova Scotia, was primarily attended by human resource professionals, consultants, and educators looking for leading edge tools for bringing out the best in people.
May 16, 2003 EQ Reflection: I Will NOT Tolerate This! A few minutes ago, I went to help Emma get ready to go. "NO!" she shouted, "Go Away." and slammed the door. Because I am "an emotional intelligence expert" I opened the door and shouted back, "That is rude and mean and I will not let you talk to me like that!" and almost slammed the door back. Now what???
May 8, 2003 EQ Reflection: Feeling Words Talking to Emma about feelings, Josh learns that unpleasant emotions all boil down to a mix of sad and angry. Includes ideas about teaching emotional literacy to preschoolers.
April 18, 2003 EQ Reflection: Making The Case Why is emotional intelligence important? Some people say it's a value for its own sake, others value it because it increases performance. Which is right?
April 3, 2003 EQ Reflection: Through the Looking Glass Why is communication SO challenging? Part of it is jerk-inertia -- the built-in drive to keep acting like a jerk! The antidote is empathy, which is a lot easier to practice when you're not the one under attack.
March 18, 2003 EQ Reflection: Encompassing Attention While parents clearly see how much attention they give their children, it's a surprise to see how much attention we get back. Attention is an incredible gift, a great power, and its free. What would happen if we learned to pay attention at work, at school, and at home -- to genuinely give our focus and care to one another?
March 14, 2003 EQ Reflection: Living Organizational Values On a recent trip to Halifax, Josh had the pleasure of meeting an organization where the corporate values where vibrantly alive. The reflection talks about the value and promise of that kind of authenticity.
January 31, 2003 EQ Reflection: Knowing or Learning? Is your school, family, or organization about knowing or learning? "Knowing" will put the emphasis on measuring being right. A system of learning focuses on growth. The emphasis is on measurable progress. Which are you creating?
December 30, 2002 EQ Reflection: Out of the Fog Driving through the rain is a metaphor for finding your way through life. It demonstates the importance of feedback AND the need for intrinsic motivation. Also includes links to articles and research about motivation and intrinsic motivation.
December 18, 2002 EQ Reflection: The Ugly Secrets About Fatherhood 24 hours of screaming fights, floods, power failures, food poisoning, leaky diapers, and a surprise. Warning: Not for the squeamish!
After the kind of night that keeps people from becoming parents, Josh realizes something magical about being a father.
December 3, 2002 EQ Reflection: Chasing Pigeons In Siena -- And Appreciating Small Moments On a recent trip to Italy, Max enjoyed chasing the pigeons across Il Campo in Siena. Josh talks about the joy of those small moments, and the challenge of fully engaging, risking, and laughing. Plus, five news notes.
October 21, 2002 EQ Byte: Guilt (take two) A critical look at guilt. Can it be helpful? How do we let go?
October 4, 2002 EQ News: Decision Making, Art Contest, and Birthday A thought-provoking response to my last EQ Reflection about decision-making, a Birthday request, an art contest announcement, and a Good Idea.
September 30, 2002 EQ Reflection: Making Decisions as the World Tour Continues! Kate and I are on the plane returning from a powerful and inspiring experience in Mexico where I learned about using long-term commitments to step around fear and discomfort. Last week we had a group of Norwegian occupational health pracitioners for a two-day course in San Francisco, and in two days a team from EQ Japan is coming for a project.
September 17, 2002 EQ Reflections: What Is Part II -- Managing and Using Anger I received a wealth of suggestions about focusing on "What Is" and about productively using anger. This LONG message includes a summary of advice, some additional thoughts, and then responses from a number of subscribers. Thank you for sharing this incredible collection of wisdom about staying present, active, and using anger appropriately!
September 5, 2002 EQ Reflection: Global Emotions Returning from a Certification training in Indonesia, Josh shares some realizations about how people around the world are all seeking connection, beloning, and personal mastery.
Also includes information about the Certification training program.
August 9, 2002 EQ News: Modest Needs Helps Out and other news News announcements about Modest Needs, an online experiment in giving; EQ Certification; Self-Science.com; EQ.org; and other EQ excitement!
August 5, 2002 EQ Reflection: What Is? In a recent certification course, a delegate mentioned a bumper sticker: "If you are not enraged, you are not paying attention." I got to thinking about all the ways I choose to not pay attention, and about pretending to not be angry.
Given all the problems in the world, how do I "make it ok" and what is the cost of those choices?

June 25, 2002 EQ News, June 02 Celebration of the recent South Africa International EQ Conference and other fabulous EQ news.

April 18, 2002 EQ Reflection: "Troubled Teens" Recently I've been wondering if any of us make it past the emotional development of a 2.5 year-old. I've been watching my daughter, Emma, turn the corner from "terrible twos" back to human, and I keep seeing her act out my own behaviors and the behaviors of other adults. This leads to questions about how "troubled teens" get that way, and how the "Egosystem" drives us to these battles.

February 17, 2002 Weekly EQ Byte: Killer Statements When I first visited this classroom three months ago I was shocked at the hurtful statements the students made to each other. I found myself sitting, dumbfounded, as one boy yelled, "David is stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!" at the boy who was sitting next to him struggling with a math problem. The teacher and I agreed our first and most important task was to help these students realize that their words can cause deep pain in others.

February 11, 2002 Weekly EQ Byte (back again!): Touch Recent research on touch shows that it is important both to physical and emotional development -- yet contemporary society shuns touch.

December 31, 2001 EQ Reflections: When I Grow Up When Emma asked me, "Daddy, what do you want to be when you get bigger bigger?" it lead me to wonder about making plans, growing, and evaluating each year.

Fortunately, Emma also came up with an answer to her own question.

December 16, 2001 EQ News: Five Exciting EQ Tidbits A few EQ updates from Six Seconds:

1. EQ Journal
2. February Cert Course
3. EQ Gifts on Sale!
4. Sneak Preview of the Toolbox
5. Over 200 links on EQ.org!

October 22, 2001 Weekly EQ Byte: Say YES It is simple enough to be either simplistic or true: What we say is possible
becomes possible; what we say is impossible becomes impossible. A key
component of optimism is recognizing that you have the power to make change.
A key component of EQ is seeing that what keeps you from that possibility is
your own patterns and fears about being powerful.

October 19, 2001 EQ News: Bullets to Bullies If you are involved in education and committed to emotional intelligence, you will want to learn more about the upcomming conference in New York -- From Bullets to Bullies: Understanding and Preventing Youth Violence.
For Educators and Parents, November 8-9, 2001, NYC.

September 16, 2001 EQ Byte plus: From Terror to Power EQ Thinking about the recent terrorist acts, including some ideas about how to move from terror to action.

"To take back the power, we must convert terror to fear, fear to concern, concern to learning, learning to commitment, commitment to action. This 'refining' can not happen unless we are willing to feel our feelings, then examine their sources. Change comes from learning."

Also includes an open letter to the President from Esther M. Orioli, the CEO of Q-Metrics with several specific ideas about how to lead with emotional intelligence in the face of terrorism.

September 12, 2001 EQ Reflections: What to Do? A response to the Sept 11 Tragedy, and sharing a letter from Neale Donald Walsch, Marianne Williamson, James Twyman, James Redfield, Doreen Virtue, and Gordon Banta.

August 26, 2001 EQ News: Interviews and a GREAT list! Great new resources on the site: Interviews with Cary Cherniss and Geetu Ohme about their new books, an EXCELLENT listing of EQ Benefits, and a hint to go visit the EQ Zone for back to school energizers.

July 19, 2001 EQ News: Special Event -- EQ Leader Camp for Kids! Announcement about the EQ Leader Camp for Kids, August 20-24 2001 in San Mateo, CA.

July 2, 2001 Weekly EQ Byte: Anger (the really mad kind) Anger is misunderstood, and often closely tied to feelings of fear, shame, loss, and joy. It feels powerful and righteous, terrifying and dehumanizing, effective and out of control.

On reason for the confusion is that research runs contrary to opinion -- "venting" anger does not reduce it. So what does?

July 1, 2001 EQ News: New Articles, Soon, and Brags Tantalizing info on three articles just up, plus some tidbits about upcoming work, bragging about our Certification courses, and a teaser about Self-Science data.

June 14, 2001 EQ News: New Book, New Articles A message from Robert Cooper, plus info on several new articles on the website.

June 12, 2001 EQ Reflections: Building Capacity Struggling through 2-year-old tantrums to teach Emma to make pancakes is actually an exercise in building capacity. This concept is important to getting work done better -- but there are costs.

June 7, 2001 EQ Reflections: Building Capacity Struggling through 2-year-old tantrums to teach Emma to make pancakes is actually an exercise in building capacity. This concept is important to getting work done better -- but there are costs.

June 5, 2001 Weekly EQ Byte: Resiliency An excerpt from Handle With Care about resiliency.

May 3, 2001 EQ Reflections: Never Underestimate Maxwell Abraham Freedman was born last night! I am amazed and delighted -- and worried... particularly about creating a family where our children do not need to wait to be adults in order to be friends.

March 8, 2001 EQ News: In A Gentle Way You Can Shake The World Before Emma was born, people kept saying things to me like, "Oh nothing will be the same...." "You don't know what you are in for...." "This is the end of 'just you'...." They were all right, and all wrong.

+ a list of new web tool announcements!
Feb 2, 2001 Breathe In Through the Pain We learn how to manage physical pain, but emotional pain seems to be more elusive.
Perhaps just as "breathing through pain" keeps us present and active with physical pain, there are ways to do that emotionally.
Feb 6, 2001 Update about web tools. New web projects underway -- share your thoughts!

1. Sharing EQ Lessons for Schools
2. Sharing EQ How-To
3. Share Your EQ Writing with the World
4. Educational Tech Idea for Teacher Ed
5. Discussion Group Discussion
September 28, 2000 EQ News Announcement: What's New! New site additions, a great new free EQ Directory, exciting new EQ Handbook, the Resiliency Map, and pictures of Emma.... what more could you want!
September 20, 2000 EQ News: Our World's Gold Medal Team We are -- you and you and you -- we are on the cusp of
a radically different future. A future that will be either
full of heart, or devoid of the kind of love that is the
warp and weft of our greatest aspirations. And I am
proud to be on the dream team playing for that gold
medal.

August 9, 2000 EQ News: The Daddy Yo-Yo While most of the time, Emma seems delighted by me as her daddy, there are days where she want's nothing to do with me.

Also news about upcoming training.

August 1, 2000 EQ News: August Excitement at Six Seconds On the web -- take a survey, create a profile, and advertise EQ events.

Also 2001 EQ Calendar themes, and some thoughts about the process of creating our calendar.

July 20, 2000 EQ News: Discussion Groups and the Excellence Hurdle An announcement about our fabulous new discussion groups -- and thoughts on using vision statements to create excellence.
The challenge is not simply performance -- but sustained and miraculous performance.
What draws people over the excellence hurdle? The opportunity to do wonders.

June 6, 2000 EQ News: More Events + Culture of Partnership Our new event calendar is a great place to keep up with what's happening in EQ!

May 24, 2000 EQ News: Summer Training Opportunities Schedule and information about Six Seconds' summer 2000 courses, including the certification course Level I and II, the classroom management program, and the curriculum institute.

May 18, 2000 EQ News: "Ut oh baby (fling)" Emma Rose, now 1 year old, is teaching me that if I actually want to learn, practice and open-mindedness are the most critical ingredients.

May 11, 2000 EQ News: Celebrating Nexus and Wondering What's Next I am working to identify the key elements of what made this conference so successful, and at the same time wondering how to use all the potential and possibility.

April 10, 2000 Weekly EQ Tidbit - Stop and Smell the Vision We are in the right place, at the right time, with the right intention, and taking the right steps.

April 5, 100 EQ News - Simple Violence, Complex Prevention "shoot-em-ups" appeal to me because there is this delightful simplicity where the good guys know who the bad guys are, and they go get them.
Real life is more complicated, and so it requires us to avoid the oversimplifications that may feel gratifying but fail to serve.

March 28, 100 followup about Nexus, as promised Info, as promised, about some of the featured presentations at the Nexus EQ Conference, as well as info about the conference outcomes.

March 23, 100 EQ News, Recommitment It is time to plant a flag and create space for people to learn about being human -- and for me, the Nexus EQ Conference is a step in that process.

February 4, 100 Nexus EQ Conference, Free Calendar Listings, Inside Outside Feeling Activity Info on the Nexus EQ Conference and a request to let people know, info about the new free events calendar for you to list and search for EQ events, and an activity about what you feel and what you show. Plus, of course, an update on Emma at 9 months old!

January 20, 100 5-day certification course Information about Six Seconds' in-depth EQ training -- Wondering how we use a bedsheet, rubber ducks, bell wire, geodes, and a box of colored sand to teach EQ?

December 8, 99 EQ on the Web Lots of exciting happenings on various EQ websites, some free offers, and info about the upcomming EQ Today.

October 19, 1999 The Edge of the World Last week I stood on the edge of the world. The oceans mingled crashing against the cliffs -- beyond this spire of land is only water, all the oceans together. The Cape of Good Hope. A point of crossing, the end of one journey, the beginning of another.

Sept 22, 1999 The Sun Is New Each Day maybe optimism is the lesson that Emma is teaching me each bubbly morning. "Hey dad, I know you are happy to be awake and playing with me," she seems to say. And some mornings it takes me longer to get the message, but before long I am.

Sept 6, 1999 Peak Experiences So maybe that's what it means to have a peak experience -- to face the challenge, to dig in despite (or even because of) the fear, and find that you are more than capable -- that your rope is at least that long. Maybe that's why some people welcome "impossible" physical challenges. For me, it has always been the emotional challenges that truly test and temper my identity.

Sept 1, 1999 Tidbits, Fall '99 Four exciting tidbits in our work -- calendars, conference, web update, and Fall training.

July 24, 1999 Brain Camp Monday I went with expectation. Ironically, even though I had data, Tuesday I went in with a open mind. Monday I went with bravado. Tuesday I went with courage. Monday I went ready to teach. Tuesday I went ready to play.

July 4, 1999 Absent Fathers So maybe that poignancy led me to thinking about our fathers. I have never met Patty's, and while I have one present father, I have one who still has not seen Emma. I was wondering if they are her grandfathers, or more like the distant relatives that I know only from a fading photo.

June 10, 1999 June News Update 1. New Article from Sirah Vettese from "What Happened to the Prince I arried?"; 2. End of School Year EQ Check-In; 3. Emma update

June 3, 1999 Specialization If parts of myself are unfulfilled, that despair permeates all of what I do; if I am fulfilled, then that energy infuses what I do. If I give myself time to walk in nature, then my work will be charged with that positive feeling. If I give myself time to play with my daughter, then my decisions will be enriched by that perspective. It is not successful to "work on" one piece of a person (or a society) and ignore the others.

May 18, 1999 Emma's Birth On May 5, Patty went into labour at about 9 pm. I now have a new idea of why women frequently go into labor at night -- forget all that hormone research -- the real reason is to make the whole thing surreal. As the first hours passed, we began to focus not on time-outside-of-us, but on time between contractions. It is the beginning of reshaping time.

April 27, 1999 Vigilance and Violence Prevention Preventing violence takes vigilance. Not metal detector vigilance, but stuck-in-the-same-pattern vigilance. If we can only change ourselves, we'd each better take that responsibility pretty seriously. Vigilance is cental to that seriousness.

March 31, 1999 Complacence Experiencing the here-and-now. I have a tendency to fill my moments with plans, to brainstorm, to dream, to work on problems. This seems like useful activity... in moderation. On the return drive, I practiced being here-and-now every once-in-a-while. Once-in-a-while-here-and-now. Just about that length of time, focusing on my five senses, on what my toes felt like, on the temperature, on the light in the trees

March 13, 1999 fliers, babies, and fear People's humanity is walled off by fear. Fear keeps us from accessing our creativity, our problem-solving, and it can totally dominate our emotional landscapes. The result is that fear leads us into reaction, defense, offense... and away from listening and loving.

Feb 22, 1999 London When I was a classroom teacher, I used to get so upset when my students and I were in conflict. I got upset when there was palpable tension, when people where sad, angry, frustrated, when there were strong emotions... and I am glad that I was emotionally present for my students, but I am sorry that I "rode the rollercoaster of adolescence" with them. What I learned was that there is a certain level of emotionallity and even conflict that is essential to learning. I never was comfortable with a room full of students frustrated with me, but it became less catastrophic.

Jan 30, 1999 State of the World This morning, Desmond Tutu reminded us that "children do not know how to hate when they are born." His message encapuslated a feeling I have had in the 3 days here -- that these people, charged with idealism and optimism -- these "young people" are not the future leaders. They are _the_ leaders. We just need to get better at listening

 
 

 

 

 

 

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Created: 9/5/99

Revised: 9/16/02

© 1999-2002, Joshua Freedman, Six Seconds

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