A few weeks ago I received the dreaded jury summons.
For those not in the US, here every citizen is required
to appear to serve as a juror when called to local,
state, and Federal court. The right to trial by a jury
of your peers is a hallmark of our constitutional
democracy, and is a principle that I value.

So it was with mixed emotions that I faced this
summons. On the one hand it’s a chance to uphold
an important pillar of democracy. On the other, it is
an incredible pain because trials can go on for weeks.
Jurors are paid the massive sum of $15 per day (less
than 1/3 of minimum wage – or about 15% of an
average teacher's salary). So while we say we value
our legal system, we don’t seem to value jurors much.

On the day of my court summons I was quite anxious
at the prospect of being stuck in court, and was
racking my brain for a suitable excuse. On arrival,
though, I was struck by the judge's leadership. The
experience was far different than I’d imagined -- both
professionally and personally.

Judge Atack is an emotionally intelligent leader --
someone both serious and compassionate, insightful,
firm and realistic. He has "gravitas," that kind of
seriousness that invites trust, yet he has learned to
pay attention to the mood of those in front of him
and manage that with an occasional joke or smile.
Mostly he has a seriousness of purpose -- I sense
that to him, law is a sacred calling, and a matter
of law is worthy of any inconvenience. It wasn't
a speech he gave or plaque on the wall, it was simply
the way he conducted himself. In the face of this
purpose-centered leadership, I found my excuses
melting away -- I was drawn to his conviction and
willing to do my part.

So I was actually disappointed when I was excused
(at least for awhile). I was also reminded by the
power of emotions.

The judge asked us all some questions about the case
at hand, and if we’d had any experiences that might
color our judgment. I had an experience where I was
the victim of a similar crime; it was almost 10 years
ago and I thought I’d nearly forgotten it. Yet when
questioned about the experience, I found myself
reliving the feelings quite vividly -- feeling powerless
and scared, and feeling angry, even vengeful about it.
In one little corner of my heart, I wanted to punish
this defendant for the unpleasantness I'd experienced
10 years ago.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just unusually susceptible
to the influences of emotions. Maybe I dwell on
emotions far too much for my own good. The
pervasive message of, "emotions are weak" plays
through my head and I question myself. Then I go
read more research and decide that while it is true
that emotions influence me strongly, it's also true of
everyone else too.

Perhaps that's why leadership like Judge Atack's is
so powerful. We are emotional beings, and
emotionally intelligent leaders are mastering their
emotions in a way that engages ours. When we
teach people about emotionally intelligent leadership,
we use the Six Seconds' model and encourage them
to develop competency in three areas:

* Know Yourself – when leaders are self-aware, they
become more "real," and they don't get "pushed
Around" by the unknown drivers that we all have. This
makes them more trustworthy, and lets them make
better decisions. Their self-awareness gives them a
reference point for understanding others' emotions,
which gives them important insight about people.

* Choose Yourself – when leaders manage themselves
with the utmost integrity, they don’t undermine their
own messages. Again, this "walking the talk" creates
trust. They attend to and manage their own
emotions, neither suppressing nor wallowing in
them, and they gain the energy and insight
emotions offer. Managing their own emotions well,
they have a powerful tool for influencing others'
emotions.

* Give Yourself – when leaders connect with purpose
and get their own ego out of the way, they are
compelling. In Six Seconds' model, Give Yourself
includes both Empathy and Noble Goals -- balancing
compassion and conviction. When leaders do this,
they are able to engage others in their vision --
which creates a deep level of commitment. Rather
than pushing people into performance, these
leaders draw other in. In addition, this
people+purpose-driven leadership strengthens the
leaders' and followers' resolve to know themselves
and choose themselves -- it becomes a self-reinforcing
cycle.

I was surprised and delighted to see this kind of
leader in action in the local courthouse. Good
leadership is infectious and inspiring, and it helps
me consider my own leadership. Am I clear enough
about my own "buttons and levers" that influence me?
Have I learned to do what I mean to do? Do I
have a compelling reason for that -- and do I enroll
others in that purpose by truly recognizing them?

Have you seen a compelling leader in action this
week? How did you feel with that person? What
made her or him stand out? Is there some piece
of that leadership that is inspiring you to dig deeper,
reach higher?

For whom are you the role model? If some of your
team members, colleagues, friends, or family were to
read this, might they name you? How does that feel?
What are you going to do about it?


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Six Seconds' Emotional Intelligence Assessment is a
powerful tool for developing and applying EQ. Learn
more at www.6seconds.org/sei/ -- or come to
a Certification training! www.6seconds.org/training/
******************************************************


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Joshua Freedman is an expert on developing and applying
Emotional intelligence at work, home, and school. He is
Director of Programs for Six Seconds EQ Network
(www.6seconds.org)

This is an EQ Reflection from Six Seconds EQ Network.
Please feel free to forward or reproduce so long as you
keep this part:

©2006 Joshua Freedman, Six Seconds
www.6seconds.org