I am off to Singapore tonight and feeling sad about
leaving home. It's the one part of my job that really
pains me. But, I'm looking forward to several great
workshops there and in Jakarta.

I just posted an interview with Annie McKee on "Resonant
Leadership" -- on www.6seconds.org -- about the key
lessons in the book, what it adds to emotional
intelligence, and what she learned for herself working
on it. The book's official publication date was 5 days
ago, and it is now #503 on Amazon - wow! Maybe it
tells us that staying fully vital and alive is important
to leaders today.

What's important to you?

This article is about what's important in my family and
life -- and how we each choose the kind of world we'll have.

Warmly,
- Josh


What's Important: Choosing the Future

"If Maxie says something mean to me,
and I say something mean to Maxie,
then we might forget how to forgive."
- Emma Rose, age 6, talking about her brother.

This evening I sat with Max and Emma and read an article
by Christine Easwaran about being kind. I read a sentence
and then asked them what it meant.

One message of the article is that we can each contribute
to world peace by being kind. I often ask the kids, "What
are you adding to the world right now?" Or, "Are you
making the world a friendlier place, or a fightier place?"

What did you add to the world today? Is that the
contribution you most want to make?

Reading and talking was lovely 10 minutes for me. The
kids ate popsicles and we talked about lofty ideals (in
the language of 4 and 6 year olds...) Who knows if the
kids will remember anything we talked about -- but I
know if we do it regularly, they will remember that we
invested in what's important.

I asked Emma (6) and Max (4) separately, "What is
important in our family?"

Max -- not to fight, to be kind to each other, to help
each other when we get hurt, to say "hi" to people
when we don't know them and ask their names, that
you (Daddy) go to work and help people.
I asked, "What about rocks?" (Max's current obsession).
"No, rocks are important to me, but not to the whole family."

Emma -- not hitting, using kind words, cleaning up after
yourself instead of making other people clean up after
you, being healthy, being safe and staying near a grownup,
telling the truth.

Their choices are fascinating to me. It tells me some of
our efforts are sinking in, and that there are areas where
we need to be more articulate and explicit. For example,
I would have thought, "Love" would be near the top of the
list, so maybe we can talk more about that.

What are the "important things" in your family, in your
company or school, and in your life?
Do you invest time in them?
Do your children see and hear you putting those priorities
into action?

Eknath Easwaran wrote, "By our choices, each of us helps
to shape the destiny of us all." It's so clear in a
family, and increasingly clear in the world as a whole.

What we do and how we do it affects many, many people.
So starting with ourselves, and then our families, then
our teams and organizations and communities -- what
is the world are we choosing to create?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joshua Freedman is an expert on developing and applying
Emotional intelligence at work, home, and school. He is
Director of Programs for Six Seconds EQ Network
(www.6seconds.org)

This is an EQ Reflection from Six Seconds EQ Network.
Please feel free to forward or reproduce so long as you
keep this part:

©2005 Joshua Freedman, Six Seconds
www.6seconds.org