Renewal

Ever have one of those days where you look at your list, you look
at your desk, and you just collapse back into your chair wonder
where the whatever should I even START?

There's a technical EQ term for that state -- it's called,
"Confusion."

One of the biggest challenges we all face is to know when we're
confused -- most of us march blithely forward as if we're not.
The challenge is that in confusion, you’re a bit lots, and
landmarks are messed up. So it's easy to keep plodding along
amidst the familiar landmarks -- at the back of your head
you're saying, "something's funny..." but it takes a while before
you see you're going the wrong direction.

One solution is to begin to monitor yourself to see the warning
signs of confusion. Frequently confusion seeps in when you're
"running on empty" or you're juggling too many balls. I kind of
mental, emotional, and physical fatigue creeps in -- maybe as
a defense mechanism, it's your body saying, "Hey! Take a break
or I'll make you!!"

When you feel that "slow down," of energy and engagement the
first challenge is to notice it. Then take an effective break.

I spent a good part of the morning in overload -- going between
stress and wet blanket. I literally stared at my "to do list" for
a few minutes and it all was a blur -- nothing stood out as
important... but I KNOW I've got some important work to do!

But today the sun was breaking through the clouds, so I picked
up a sandwich for lunch and headed to a favorite beach for a 15
minute renewal break.

It's wonderful to go to the beach in winter -- there were five
people on the mile of beach I walked. The sun was warm, and
the water sparkling. I walked and tried to pay attention to all
that.

I kept thinking about work, about this article, about whatever
-- thoughts just spinning without much focus or direction.

So I had to break out the "big guns" for renewal: my senses.

I stopped. Stood still. Looked at the water and tried to just see
without evaluating. I picked up some sand and felt the texture.
I reminded myself, "Don't think about feeling the sand --
actually Feel the sand." I listened to the waves.

I just about gave up -- I was telling myself, "I'm too busy to
spend another minute on the damn beach -- no wonder it's empty!"

I tried again, really paying attention to the physical sensations
instead of the mental "chatter." And like a light switch, I
experienced a cessation of "noise" and extraneous thought.
I felt myself breathe more deeply and see more clearly. For
just two minutes I sat down and was truly still -- and my energy
shot back up, my muscle tension dropped, my back pain was less,
and I felt excited to go back to work. Not agitated, but excited!

For me, the beach is a compelling symbol of renewal. The
constancy of the waves, the sand washed clean each day. Walking,
it seems, upon land that's never seen a human footprint. It's
also easy for me to get to the beach -- but you can apply the same
method anywhere.

Tom Wojick, my colleague and resiliency expert, teaches about
"rituals of renewal" as simple mechanisms that restore energy
and balance. A ritual of renewal can be as simple as walking to the
water cooler, or looking at a photo, or putting on a favorite piece
of music. Thirty seconds an hour, says Tom, is enough to increase
energy and resilience by 100%. (If you are shopping for corporate
training, Tom's web site is http://www.renewalgroup.com -- he
also has an upcoming 3-day program for individuals who want to
learn to renew their resiliency!)

A Ritual of Renewal is not intended as a complex feat of logistics
and time. It should be easy enough to become automatic. It needs
to shift your body, your mind, and/or your heart -- and ideally
all three, without adding stressors to the body. So coffee, cigarettes,
candy, and soda are not as effective as:
- Go give someone an appreciation in person.
- Look out the window at something beautiful.
- Sing a song you love.
- Sip ice water and enjoy the cool.
- Walk around the floor and smile at 10 people.
- Shoot a few hoops.
- Weed 1 square foot of garden.
- Pick up 5 pieces of trash.
- Laugh at a silly joke.
- Call your love and tell her so.
- Read an EQ Reflection (they're archived on www.6seconds.org).
:-)

And remember -- don't think about feeling the sand: feel the sand!

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Please forward to others, and keep this part too!
©2004 Joshua Freedman, Six Seconds (www.6seconds.org)

About the Author
Joshua Freedman is the Director of Programs for Six Seconds EQ
Network, a leading nonprofit organization promoting emotional
intelligence around the world since 1997. For information on Josh's
work and speaking, visit his web site at http://www.jmfreedman.com .
For information on emotional intelligence, visit Six Seconds at
http://www.6seconds.org .