Little Miss Bossy Pants?

By 9 am I was ready to go back to bed. My head
was ringing from near-constant explosions -- the
tyke battle zone.

Emma Rose Freedman is 5 going on 45 CEO of the
World. In my emotionally intelligent moments,
she is strong willed and dynamic. At my wit's
end, she is bossy and volatile.

Emma has clear ideas about the way the world
should be, and when someone disagrees, she
snarls, yells, scrathes, or otherwise explodes.
She is incredibly frustrated when people won't
do what she tells them to do. After all, it
makes perfect sense to her. This appears as
a total lack of patience... and, of course, I
play right in by being impatient with her
impatience.

I suspect part of my own frustration is the 37
years of being my sister's little brother --
and while I love her to pieces (now), she's
STILL bossy! (Well... not really bossy anymore.
She's just got things organized -- and the rest
of us truly do appreciate it -- but it's fun to
tease her. Sorry Deb.) But that's a different
article.

When things calm down enough to talk, Emma
recognizes, at least intellectually, that this
behavior is not the way to win friends and
influence people. But she's got this pattern
well established now. In the "heat of the moment"
Emma snaps into anger at the drop of a hat -- or
putting her plate in the wrong place, or moving
her light without asking, or telling her to get
dressed for school...

So, other than checking myself into an asylum,
what do you advise? Have you faced and solved
this problem? If so, how??? If not, what
didn't work?

I'll roll-up the advice I like into another
newsletter soon.
:-)

Given the story above, now is probably NOT the
time to mention this, but here's a related note:

We've just released a new curriculum!
EQ for Families – Four Emotional Intelligence
Workshops. Drawing on the best of our EQ
presentations over the last eight years, these
modules include effective exercises, professional
slides, an engaging learning design, handouts,
quotes, and more.

AND, you can download and try the first module
In exchange for sharing the ideas with five people.
It's called "The Power of Feelings," and it's one
of my favorite presentations. The program helps
shed light on issues like the one I'm having with Emma.

http://www.6seconds.org/family/

Now if only I followed my own advice...


OH! One more item -- our 2005 EQ Activity Calendar
is coming off press any day now, and it's available
to order. See http://www.6seconds.org/hwc/ for details.

As a reward for reading this far, here is a coupon
for an extra 10% off on the calendar -- if you order
by Nov 15. Just place your order at the EQ Store
(www.EQstore.com) and after you click "Checkout"
there is a space to enter a coupon.
Coupon code: HWC1004

Thanks for reading, and I am REALLY looking forward
to your suggestions!
- Josh


(Except at home some days) Joshua Freedman is an
expert on developing emotional intelligence to
improve individual and organizational performance.
Have him present and inspiring and valuable keynote
at your organization's next event: www.jmfreedman.com

Please pass it on! And keep this part too:
This is an EQ Reflection from Six Seconds EQ Network. http://www.6seconds.org
©2004, Joshua Freedman