You know the expression, "Clearing the cobwebs from my mind?"
Today, I was clearing cobwebs from the garage, and started
thinking about "clearing cobwebs from my heart."

What cobwebs are in your heart, and how do you clear them?

Unexamined, cobwebs build like plaque, obscuring and ossifying
in the hidden corners. Cobwebs are individually insignificant,
almost invisible. Yet over time, they collect to make the space
dirtied, darker -- dingy. Once established, they pile up, layer
upon layer, the tenuous hold strengthening with time and neglect.

In the garage, cobwebs seem to start by attaching to rough spots,
old nails, splinters from joists. In the heart, they attach to old
hurts, incomplete communications, feelings and frustrations that
have turned into judgments and beliefs.

To clean cobwebs from the garage takes the bright light of day
and a soft broom. They don't go away in one fell swoop. Rather,
they must be gently gathered layer upon layer in the fashion
they were formed. Vigor is contraindicated, rapidity increases
chaos. As does being reactive, explosive, frustrated, impatient.
Instead, perseverance is essential -- proceed with calm,
focused energy and vigilance.

Exercise your heart -- and reach the neglected corners with care.
Shine the fresh sunlight and crisp air of Autumn days, give time
to explore, and sweep gently. These activities are all well suited
to a quiet walk in the woods -- enjoy the last greens and golds
of summer, taste the coming Fall, and carefully brush the
cobwebs from your heart.

While the cobwebs always will return if the "garage of your
heart" is neglected, you can certainly take steps to minimize
their return. Real cobwebs are dramatically reduced with
gypsum on the walls, a clean coat of paint, fresh air, light,
and use.

Likewise, prevent the cobwebs of the heart by "rearranging
your mental furniture" and questioning assumptions; make a
habit of asking yourself to see multiple perspectives. The
feeling of appreciation is the fresh air for the heart -- a
cleansing breeze of gratitude. And most of all, keep the space
in use, don't shy away from feelings (even those that make
you cry or scream) -- don't store musty old boxes of
unexamined memories; make your heart a space full of life,
curiosity, and love.

Warmly yours,
- Josh

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PS. Two web sites to review:

The 4th Annual NexusEQ Conference is coming in January --
registration is now live:
http://www.NexusEQ.com

Does your business, or a group to which you belong, have speakers
come in? I'd like to come present a practical and energizing
session on emotional intelligence. My new "speaking" web site is:
http://www.jmfreedman.com

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Just keep this part too, please:
This is an EQ Reflection from Six Seconds EQ Network: http://www.6seconds.org
©2003, Joshua Freedman.