At the first NexusEQ summit in May 2000, a delegate named Lea Brovedani
approached me and said, "We've got to bring this conference to Halifax!" I
am now embarrassed to say that my first thought was, "Does anyone know
where Halifax is?" Through Lea's incredible persistence, a partnership
was formed with the Human Resource Association of Nova Scotia (HRANS),
and the conference was created. I see it as a testament to the power of
vision; Lea says it shows how stubbornness can be a good thing.

The speakers were a combination of EQ experts, human resource specialists,
authors, and psychologists. Many were familiar to attendees of previous
NexusEQ events, and this was the first time I'd met others. Lea did the
majority of the conference planning, I shared models and experiences from
the previous events, and we attempted to blend the guidance from our two
organizations (Six Seconds and HRANS). We agreed to follow the NexusEQ standard that every speaker would be a "keynote quality presenter" who
one of us had actually seen; Lea said, "Even if someone attends only one
session, they ought to know that this is a transformational conference."

The vision of the NexusEQ Conference Series is to create a shared forum
where the leaders of the emotional intelligence movement share tools and
wisdom for creating positive change. When we began the planning in 1999,
we did not call it the "Six Seconds EQ Conference" because we were committed
to forming a collaboration with other emotional intelligence organizations
and experts. Our first step was to write to everyone we knew in the field
to invite them to be collaborators; like any field, there are different
"camps" in the EQ movement, and we wanted a place where all could come
together as allies.

Given this commitment, the most powerful evidence of the conference's
success for me was seeing all these "competitive" speakers collaborating
together with genuine warmth and curiosity. Most of the time, most of us
don't actually attend the conferences where we speak -- we appear for our
sessions, maybe attend a lunch, and then go back to our other work. At this
conference, however, many of the speakers stayed throughout the event, they
went to one another's sessions, ate lunch with delegates, and strengthened
relationships.

The other great treat for me was to meet speakers who Lea knew but I did
not. One was Dr. J.P. Pawliw-Fry; JP, his wife Elizabeth, and some team members from IHHP (the Institute for Health and Human Potential) came to
the event, and I can't believe we have not worked together before. It's
such a thrill to find people with a shared vision and approach to learning.
JP provided the opening keynote, and his presentation captured the real
essence of the conference.

"You Can't Stop the Waves, But You Can Learn to Surf" was about using
emotional intelligence to reach higher levels of personal leadership. One
of JP's comments was something like, "It's a lot safer for boats to stay in
the harbour, but that's not what boats are meant to do." In the same way,
people are "safe" living without risk and challenge, but that's not what
living is meant to be. In JP's model, Self Awareness, Emotional Management,
and Emotional Connection for the basis for Personal Leadership. JP talked
about hijacking of the amygdala, the marshmallow study, optimism, and he
showed that the key drivers for customer loyalty begin with emotional
intelligence.

The closing keynote was by Dr. Martin Seligman. Dr. Seligman spoke at the
2000 conference, and since then he published his most successful book to
date, Authentic Happiness. He often talks about the transformation that
occurred in his own life when his then 5-year-old daughter, Nikki,
challenged him to "stop being such a grouch." It's amazing to think that
hundreds of thousands of people have been profoundly influenced by this
child's challenge and her father's commitment to learn to be a better dad.

In his presentation, Marty talked the three paths to happiness: the pleasant
life, the good life, and the meaningful life. I walked away with this view
of the three: The pleasant life is about material success; it is satisfying
in the short term. The good life is about healthy relationships; it is
sustaining. The meaningful life is about lifelong purpose; it is
transformational. One of the most important points was, "There are
shortcuts to the pleasant life, but no shortcuts to the good life or the
meaningful life -- only long-cuts." Dr. Seligman also discussed the
difference between traditional pathology-oriented psychology -- which
has worked to curb the trials of mental illness -- and the new positive
psychology -- which seeks to help people find true happiness.

Between the opening and closing were numerous outstanding presentations
and keynotes. Many different approaches to emotional intelligence were
presented; in particular there was quite a bit of discussion about
assessments. Drs. Jack Mayer and Peter Salovey each discussed different
aspects of the MSCEIT. Dr. Reuven Bar-On, Dr. Rich Handley, Geetu Orme
and others talked about the EQ-i. Dr. Steve Stein discussed the importance
of tests in general. Esther Orioli presented using the EQ Map. I
demonstrated our organizational profile, Lights, Camera, Action. There
were also several models and definitions of emotional intelligence
presented, those related to assessments, and various approaches to
developing EQ; Dr. Anabel Jensen presented the Six Seconds' model of living
with emotional intelligence -- Know Yourself, Choose Yourself, Give
Yourself. In all the definitions and models, I saw many commonalties, and
one basic difference.

Commonalties:
-> Self-awareness is key to successful change.
-> Emotional intelligence provides value by creating engagement.
-> How we look at the world changes the way we live in the world.
-> An essential challenge is to be clear what we really want.
-> Feelings are powerful -- they change us and they change the people
around us.
-> We have a great deal of choice about our feelings.
-> We also have a choice about focusing on strengths versus weaknesses,
and a strength-orientation enhances personal power and engagement.
-> Values are one of the major drivers of behavior and emotions are
linked to values.
-> Thoughts, feelings, and emotions are inextricably linked.
-> There is a great deal we've learned about how the brain and body are
connected, how emotion ties to thinking, and what drives behavior.
And, there is a great deal we don't know.
-> EQ is most useful in service to achieving important goals rather than
an end in itself -- just as IQ is not of significant value in and of
itself.

Difference:
There seem to be two emerging approaches to using emotional intelligence at work. In some ways they overlap, while in others they are mutually exclusive. One approach focuses on recruitment, the other on development.

-> Recruitment: These implementations of EQ focus on profiling high performers and then recruiting to match the profile. This approach is more easily sold to large corporations, it matches their existing mental models about creating performance. It seems to work well for certain job types, and there's no question that an EQ focus improves hiring; there is some question that it's possible to simply hire the right people and achieve optimal performance. Testing is an essential ingredient of this process.

-> Development: While there are many approaches to developing competency, all the EQ oriented approaches seem to include building awareness of strengths and the obstacles keep people and groups from fully exercising those strengths. This emphasis on strengths is one of the unique features of the movement. Development is more complex than recruitment, harder to "scale" to a large organization, and it's messier. Coaching is an essential ingredient of this process.


The conference was incredible, and while the speakers were all fabulous, the real success came from the delegates. Imagine the power of over 300 people with a shared commitment to bringing out the best in people -- people committed to learning and growing themselves so they can support others to do the same. It's an incredible feeling to meet a group of people engaged in using their personal power to support excellence.

Now I'm looking forward to the next one -- "NexusEQ: Creating and Sustaining Change" -- Orlando, January 15-17, 2004. The Orlando conference is for practitioners, people actively working with emotional intelligence in schools, businesses, mental health, and health care. Many of the speakers are already committed (see http://NexusEQ.com), and the program is focused on working sessions for practitioners to share best-practice and learn the latest developments in the field.

I look forward to seeing you there!
- Josh

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Please spread this message far and wide! Just keep this part too please:
©2003, Joshua Freedman; Six Seconds
Six Seconds EQ Network: Inspiring emotional wisdom.

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About the author:
Joshua Freedman is the Director of Programs for the Six Seconds EQ Network.
He is the coordinator of the International NexusEQ Conferences
(http://www.nexusEQ.com), Editor of EQ Today (http://www.EQtoday.com), and
one of the organization's trainers and consultants (http://www.6seconds.org/training). Josh's most important role is loving
his wife Patty and their children Maxwell Abraham (2) and Emma Rose (4).

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