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    October 21, 2002


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    Man cannot be comfortable without his own approval
    -Mark Twain

    Guilt:
    An emotional state produced by thoughts that we have not
    lived up to our ideal self and could have done otherwise.
    Guilt can be about awareness. When we gain awareness
    of ourselves and our behavior we can feel guilt for our
    unkind/thoughtless/selfish deeds. In this sense it could
    lead to improved behavior. However, guilt can also induce
    negative self-talk which, reinforced, can paralyze us.

    Research says. . .

    Researchers asked 182 undergraduates described personal
    embarrassment, shame, and guilt experiences and came to
    three important conclusions.

    1. Based on the students response the researchers
    descriptions concluded that embarrassment, shame, and
    guilt are not merely different terms for the same
    affective experience.

    2. All three emotions typically occurred in social
    contexts, but an event did not have to be public to
    inspire shame or guilt, only embarrassment.
    A significant proportion of shame and guilt events
    occurred when respondents were alone.

    3. Finally, and possibly most importantly, the students
    were often their own harshest critics in each type of
    event, evaluating themselves more negatively than they
    believed others did.

    (June Price Tangney, Laura Flicker, Deborah Hill Barlow,
    Rowland S. Miller. Journal of Personality and Social
    Psychology. June 1996 v70 n6 p1256(14).)

    Try this with a child who is feeling guilty . . .
    Blow up a balloon imagining that you are blowing all
    of your guilt into the balloon. Then take it out side
    let it go, watching it deflate in the sky. (adapted
    from Exploring Guilt with Your Child, Enchante
    publishing)
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    This was a Weekly EQ Byte from Six Seconds
    http://www.6seconds.org/modules.php?name=Newsletters

    Feel free to copy or forward so long as you keep this bit:
    ©2002 Kate Bedford, Six Seconds


 

 

 

 

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