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October 21, 2002
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You can download 25 free pages from
Handle With Care: The EQ Learning Journal
Go to http://www.6seconds.org/hwc
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Man cannot be comfortable without his own approval
-Mark Twain
Guilt:
An emotional state produced by thoughts that we have not
lived up to our ideal self and could have done otherwise.
Guilt can be about awareness. When we gain awareness
of ourselves and our behavior we can feel guilt for our
unkind/thoughtless/selfish deeds. In this sense it could
lead to improved behavior. However, guilt can also induce
negative self-talk which, reinforced, can paralyze us.
Research says. . .
Researchers asked 182 undergraduates described personal
embarrassment, shame, and guilt experiences and came to
three important conclusions.
1. Based on the students response the researchers
descriptions concluded that embarrassment, shame, and
guilt are not merely different terms for the same
affective experience.
2. All three emotions typically occurred in social
contexts, but an event did not have to be public to
inspire shame or guilt, only embarrassment.
A significant proportion of shame and guilt events
occurred when respondents were alone.
3. Finally, and possibly most importantly, the students
were often their own harshest critics in each type of
event, evaluating themselves more negatively than they
believed others did.
(June Price Tangney, Laura Flicker, Deborah Hill Barlow,
Rowland S. Miller. Journal of Personality and Social
Psychology. June 1996 v70 n6 p1256(14).)
Try this with a child who is feeling guilty . . .
Blow up a balloon imagining that you are blowing all
of your guilt into the balloon. Then take it out side
let it go, watching it deflate in the sky. (adapted
from Exploring Guilt with Your Child, Enchante
publishing)
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This was a Weekly EQ Byte from Six Seconds
http://www.6seconds.org/modules.php?name=Newsletters
Feel free to copy or forward so long as you keep this bit:
©2002 Kate Bedford, Six Seconds
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