This is a "special edition" of the Weekly EQ Byte that
is also going to all of our other subscription lists.

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My friend and colleague sent a message (below) about how to use EQ in
thinking about the terrorism. I've read many postings about the subject,
and it seems that Esther has captured some of the most critical elements
of how to think with both heart and mind about these events.

I am particularly taken with her advice to cease discussing these events in
terms of good and evil -- these are the acts of individual human beings who
had and exercised choice. Just as we can. By moving the responsibility from
humans larger forces is to undermine the power we each have to affect our
world.

My question to you: A small group of individuals exercised their power in
the most destructive and horrific of ways. What can you do -- what WILL
you do to exercise your power to create the opposite?

Which leads me to think that the greatest tradegy is not the mayhem and
destruction of life, family, love, and property -- but rather the attempted
destruction of individual power. Terrorism is not about destruction, it is
about terror. And terror, the deepest fear, is about rendering us powerless.

To take back the power, we must convert terror to fear, fear to concern,
concern to learning, learning to commitment, commitment to action. This
"refining" can not happen unless we are willing to feel our feelings, then
examine their sources. Change comes from learning.

So feel. Think. And act. Let the three season one another.

Act to honor your own power, and the power of each person, each child,
each relationship, each family, each community. You are powerful,
and your thoughts and feelings shape how your power shapes our world.

Your fear and anger are powerful, and so are your love and compassion.

The difference is that fear and anger undermine the power of others,
while love and compassion support others. We have seen the results of
fear and anger -- would you be willing to join me to see what happens
if we make the other choice? And if so, remember that to make your
choice real, you must live it without regard to how many people join
you, or even how many people ignore you.

The letter from Esther Orioli is below. Esther is the CEO of Q-Metrics
(http://www.qmetricseq.com) and author of the EQ Map. Her other
company is Essi Systems (http://www.essisystems.com) for which
she created the Stress Map.

Warmly,
-Josh
Joshua Freedman
Director of Programs, Six Seconds EQ Network
http://www.6seconds.org



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Some EQ Solutions to Terrorism
Written September12th
by Esther Orioli


Dear Friends and Colleagues,

At 7:15 am Tuesday, a close friend called from Massachusetts to tell me that
Karla Carmony, my dearest friend and my company's COO, may have been on
a plane that was hijacked and crashed.

As I turned on the television, all I could see on the screen was smoke
billowing from the World Trade Center and fire at the Pentagon. The
magnitude of what I was seeing had not yet sunk in, it was surreal.

Early on, I took comfort that Karla was on a United flight not an American
flight, confident that she was safe and sound as she departed from the East
Coast at 8:20 am from the Boston area headed for the West. Then they
announced that two United flights had been hijacked no flight numbers.

I was fully awake now.

There was a flurry of phone calls, both on my home phone and my cell phone
-- friends and family calling to tell me what they knew or what they had
heard, all of us worried to death that not only would this crisis affect us as a
country but that the attack would hit so close to home. I was anguished.

My mind churned with dozens of images of danger and pure fright, my heart
raced with the urgency of lost seconds and minutes. At 8:40 am, Karla called
on her cell phone from the plane which had just emergency landed in
Indianapolis, Indiana, where she remains even today, unable to get back.

Will any one of us ever enter a plane with the same presumption of safety?
Will we evaluate each other with a scrutiny unencumbered by suspicion or
question? Won't every sudden jolt or variation from the course, whether
real or imagined, send us jumping out of our skin with anticipation of
danger?

Karla is safe yet it is painful to realize it was just a crap shoot that Karla's
plane was not one of the ones whose flight ended in disaster.

I am sad, stunned, incredulous and scared. I am consumed with the "what if"
scenarios I can't seem to stop playing in my head. All day Tuesday I was glued
to the television or the video coverage on the internet, almost as though I
must have a constant reminder of this tragedy lest I forget that it is
happening in the moment, so unbelievable is it.

I am also immersed in thinking about an appropriate response to the crisis:
what would I do if I were in President Bush's position?

I am convinced that whatever course Mr. Bush and his cabinet now embark
will alter history and our futures forever. I am not confident that our
leaders will consider me and the positions of many Americans like me in
their decisions. I worry that they will act from a militaristic past not
considering the need for an emotionally intelligent future. I fear that they
will forget that we are one people and one earth.


Here is the Open Letter to the President:

September 13, 2001

Mr. George W. Bush
President of the United States
Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC, USA

Dear President Bush,

It is imperative that during these times of chaos and shock, that you, as our
leader, represent the best integration of cognitive rationality and emotional
intelligence.

As professionals who teach the practical application of emotional intelligence
to the captains of business and industry, and educational and community
leaders, we advise, implement and evaluate the best practices for achieving
or maintaining strong market positions, competitive edges utilization of
human and material talent and resources, and the creation of learning
communities that support the highest achievement. Although acts of
terrorism require swift and certain responses, we offer these learnings
from our experience and ask that you consider the following in your thinking
and your actions:

**************

Let us grieve.

In our eagerness to present a symbol of strength to the world, to bring all of
our businesses back up to speed as quickly as possible, to hide just how
crippled this kind of attack has made us, emotionally if not economically, we
have lost an opportunity to show our strength and unity in mourning. With
our undivided attentions, ask us to spend time in reflection and introspection.

How did we get here? How could we have known to better protect ourselves?
What have we done to garner such intense hatred that others would inflict and
then celebrate our suffering and pain, as our just comeuppance? Support us
to band together as a nation, not in separation from our sorrow, shock and
grief, but as one strong and united within it against terrorism.

We hurt. It is fact. Ask all the peoples of the United States to accept these acts
of terrorism as the glue that will once and for all bond us as Human
Americans regardless of political affiliation, color, creed, race, ethnicity,
religion, ability, gender or orientation.

**************

Lead by Example.

Model the very behavior that speaks to strong impulse control, even when
many, perhaps most Americans urge you to retaliate exclusively with
military action. Listen to advisors who caution against hasty eye for an eye
punishments, consider economic, social and trade solutions. Ask for the
opinions of other world leaders, listen to their perspectives and exercise
respect in your actions and attitudes despite our collective, justifiable anger
and rage. If we ask for a coalition of nations against terrorism, assure these
nations that we are not fair weather friends who will abandon our alliances
after our purposes have been served.

**************

Be careful in your language.


Language is an indicator of attitudes and values. Take care when using war
analogies and similes. Ask the media to not put words in your mouth or to
sensationalize these events beyond their current horror. Demand that the
major networks be responsible for reporting not producing stories.

**************

Cease references to evil and good.

To speak as though this is the work of the devil is to remove the real and ever
present choice that people have to take responsibility and act from an
internal locus of control. We are NOT powerless and need not be victimized
by some force outside our control. These are acts of terrorism, not god or the
devil. As Americans place our flag on their houses, their cars and their
buildings, remind us that we are interconnected and interdependent with the
rest of the planet. We are one people, one Earth.

**************

Teach tolerance and human compassion.

There is not one people or one country that is responsible for these acts. This
is not a racial issue, it is an ideological one. Help the American people to
differentiate between who someone is and what they do. Let the world know
that violence is NOT ACCEPTABLE anymore, not by us, not by anyone. Invite
each American to reach out to one Arab-American today. Communication
destroys myth and fear.

**************

Be 100% certain of the source of this terrorism prior to any retaliatory response.

Do not speculate or assume. Do not rely on circumstantial evidences. It was
not very many months ago that the Middle East was almost immediately
blamed for the bombing of the Federal Building in Oklahoma City. Let not our
prejudices and our fears dictate our assumptions. The facts and
investigations of these events will yield its own truth. Take the time to let
them unfold.

**************

Assure the American people that greed and narcissism will not dictate an American response.

It is easy to see how a war would help our economy, or push our lawmakers
hands into the acceptance of new budgets and strong policies that justify
military buildups and spending. Crises create a need for surety. Be
courageous in your willingness to show the American people that from
insight comes options and that you are taking the time to consider them all.

**************

Instill confidence, not with bravado but with the power of expansive, intuitive thoughtfulness.

Take care to assure us that when you are alone with your thoughts and go deep
inside yourself, that you personally, and as our Leader, have considered a
multitude of options and can embrace each and every decision you make as
good for the nation and the world.

**************

Remember those who have died or are suffering.

Reach out to the families and loved ones of those who have experienced and
grieve loss. They are not incidental to this crisis, they are at the heart of it.
To mention them in passing is to trivialize the enormity of their realities
which have been dramatically altered for generations.

**************

On behalf of myself, my associates and colleagues from around the world,
accept the challenge to demonstrate and model a new manner of leadership one
that comes from our best thinking and our best internal, emotive processing.


We send you strength, courage, wisdom and peace. We stand ready to assist.

In service to our country,
Esther M. Orioli
President and CEO
Q-Metrics, Leading with Emotional Intelligence
http://www.qmetricseq.com

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