Urban Dreams: Stories of Hope, Resilience and Character is a compelling collection of essays written by students in an urban community in New Jersey. The essays are the encapsulated life stories of their authors, writers from urban elementary, middle, and high schools who were given a chance to reflect on their own lives and articulate their Laws of Life: strong values and principles that guide them in everyday decision and actions. Here is one of the essays.
Forgiveness Overpowers Hate
Anonymous, 11th grade
Most people live their lives based on hate that they have for others. They believe that the only way to survive is to hold up a wall of hate, not letting anyone in but themselves. A lot of people think that their law of life is hate. That is all they have ever learned. Personally, my law of life is “Forgiveness.” I think the only way to survive is to forgive. It is the key to happiness.
Many people took the time to learn how to forgive. I took the time to observe how they felt before they forgave someone and how they felt afterwards. My mother showed me that being a bigger person is being able to forgive. Throughout my mother's life she never practiced hatred. She showed love for anyone she thought needed it. She always told me “If you see someone who feels nothing but hate, pray for them. And hope that one day some kind of happiness comes into their lives.” She thought that to hate someone is only to hate yourself. So I'm trying to change my ways, so I can be at a better place, and be able to put my self in a better surroundings.
All my life I practiced nothing but hate. I had hate for everyone that I thought hated me, and for anyone who hated themselves. I had to learn the hard way that hate brings nothing but misery. I stayed to myself until I couldn't take it anymore. I decided to forgive anyone who had done any wrong doing to me, hoping to find myself in the process. Later on in life, I forgave every wrong thing that anyone had done to me. In return, I asked God to give me happiness. And to my surprise he did just that!
In order to forgive, you have to learn how to understand what other people are going though. The easiest thing to do is to hate someone or something. The hardest thing to do is learning to forgive someone. To me, forgiveness is not just saying “I forgive you.” It means understanding what the person did and why they did it. And how can you take their weakness and try to help them make themselves stronger?
I realized that hate only disowns someone for their own faults. Everyone is human. How could I honestly disown someone for their weakness, when I myself have my own faults? To blame someone for a mistake is not human and, in my eyes, everyone is the same. You can never think that you are better than anyone else. Forgiveness is will power and love. It is a communication with someone on a higher level even though they show weakness. Forgiveness is helping someone in their time of need.
I chose to forgive rather than the hate. I no longer look down upon anyone. Being able to help people take their hate and help them become a stronger person is what makes me happy. It makes them a stronger person, and in the process makes me a stronger person also. Being able to forgive is the greatest gift in the world. So, you understand why “Forgiveness” is my Law of Life. Remember it's easier to forgive, than to learn how to hate.
