What's Important? Choosing the Future
Date: January 23, 2006
Topic: Children and Families
What's important to you?
This article is about what's important in my family and life - and how we each choose the kind of world we'll have.
What's Important: Choosing the Future"If Maxie says something mean to me, and I say something mean to Maxie, then we might forget how to forgive."
- Emma Rose, age 6, talking about her brother.
This evening I sat with Max and Emma and read an article by Christine Easwaran about being kind. I read a sentence and then asked them what it meant.
One message of the article is that we can each contribute to world peace by being kind. I often ask the kids, "What are you adding to the world right now?" Or, "Are you making the world a friendlier place, or a fightier place?" What did you add to the world today? Is that the contribution you most want to make?
Reading and talking was a lovely 10 minutes for me. The kids ate popsicles and we talked about lofty ideals (in the language of 4 and 6 year olds...) Who knows if the kids will remember anything we talked about - but I know that, if we do it regularly, they will remember that we invested in what's important.
I asked Emma and Max (separately), "What is important in our family?"
Max - not to fight, to be kind to each other, to help each other when we get hurt, to say "hi" to people when we don't know them and ask their names, that you (Daddy) go to work and help people.
I asked, "What about rocks?" (Max's current obsession).
"No, rocks are important to me, but not to the whole family."
Emma - not hitting, using kind words, cleaning up after yourself instead of making other people clean up after you, being healthy, being safe and staying near a grown-up, telling the truth.
Their choices are fascinating to me. It tells me some of our efforts are sinking in, and that there are areas where we need to be more articulate and explicit. For example, I would have thought, "Love" would be near the top of the list, so maybe we can talk more about that.
What are the "important things" in your family, in your company or school, and in your life?
Do you invest time in them?
Do your children see and hear you putting those priorities into action?
Eknath Easwaran wrote, "By our choices, each of us helps to shape the destiny of us all". It's so clear in a family, and increasingly clear in the world as a whole. What we do and how we do it affects many, many people. So starting with ourselves, and then our families, then our teams and organizations and communities - what kind of world are we choosing to create?
Joshua Freedman is an expert on developing and applying Emotional intelligence at work, home, and school. He is the Director of Programs for Six Seconds EQ Network (www.6seconds.org)
This is an EQ Reflection from Six Seconds EQ Network. Please feel free to forward or reproduce so long as you keep this part:
©2005 Joshua Freedman, Six Seconds www.6seconds.org
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