In this interview with Bruna Martinuzzi, Sterrett talks about some of the challenges of bringing emotional intelligence training to the corporate arena and provides thoughtful and practical advice on how one can enhance their emotional intelligence, both in a corporate setting and as an individual.

How did you get started in the field of emotional intelligence?
I began my professional career in the field of counseling, career counseling in particular. Before I ever had a label like “emotional intelligence,” I saw people being out of balance. I worked with some people who I characterized primarily as “thinkers,” and who had little understanding of their emotions and how to use emotions in communication and relationships. I also worked with people who were definite “feelers,” whose behavioral tendencies were to dismiss logic and rational approaches and get completely caught up in their own emotions. I saw both of these types of people as needing some kind of balance in their rational and emotional dimensions. In the early to mid 1990's, when I began to read about “emotional intelligence,” it was obvious to me that this was the concept and the line of research I had been looking for.

What are some of the challenges you are finding in bringing emotional intelligence to the business community?
The biggest challenge, in my experience, is the use of the word “emotion.” While I think there is a gradually increasing level of respect and support for emotional intelligence, in general the business community is more moved by other ways to phrase these concepts. For example, in my own work, I tend to use more frequently phrases like leadership development, interpersonal communications, building relationships and trust, and improving teamwork. Emotional intelligence applies in all of these, and I often use the same exercises and examples as I use when presenting “Emotional Intelligence.” I just find that people accept them better with a different label. There is still a negative stigma in western culture attached to emotions, and that's unfortunate.

Can you tell me about what success you have had in helping others increasing their emotional intelligence in a corporate setting?
My work in emotional intelligence has taken me primarily into the area of leadership development in organizations. I have developed a very effective leadership program for operational leaders in which we have gotten demonstrated behavioral results. Much of the focus of this program is built on the ideas of self-understanding and self-control, and it especially emphasizes the interpersonal dimensions of leadership.

Many people who move into leadership do so because they were a good performer in their respective areas, not because they are good managers. For example, a good engineer becomes the engineering manager. Being the manager, though, requires a very different set of skills for success than was required of the engineer. The manager, or anyone else whose job role is largely to work with and through other people, must possess finely-tuned self-management skills as well as excellent interpersonal and teamwork skills. I teach people how to treat others so they bring out the motivation in others. The principles are fairly simple, but applying those principles is not easy. It requires lot of practice, coaching, and holding trainees accountable. To document improvement, I use a pre- and post-assessment.

In your book, you mention the importance of practice. Can you tell me more about this?
Reading about emotional intelligence and even altering one's attitude about its importance is a good start but it's not enough to improve emotional intelligence. The real key to improving one's ability to make relationships work smoothly is PRACTICE. Just like you do not get good at playing a musical instrument without regular, disciplined practice, the same goes for emotional intelligence. A person who regularly practices self-awareness and self-control, practices better communication skills, and practices using empathy, passion, and a positive attitude in social situations WILL become better at this. The improved responses that the “student” elicits from others affirm that they are doing well. This provides reinforcement and encourages them to continue developing these new habits. Success encourages more success.

Empathy is turning out to be a key component of emotional intelligence. How can you teach a person to be empathetic?
People need to develop a healthy curiosity about others. It's important to let yourself tune in to other people more strongly. We all know folks who are so self-absorbed that they have a hard time seeing anything beyond their noses, but for most people moving beyond self-absorption is natural. If you are sitting alone, thinking of how badly things may be going for you right now and someone walks into the room, you probably immediately are distracted by the other person and shift your attention to them and to the interaction that takes place. That ability to move out of yourself and shift your attention to the other is crucial, asking yourself all the while that they are talking, “What is it that she is trying to say?” This is the basis for empathy, and practice makes a person better at it.

People do need to be motivated to shift their focus from themselves to others. One good motivator is that if you don't make the shift, your relationships will be poor and unsatisfying. You have to always be willing to let yourself go to where you believe the other person is emotionally and feel what that feels like, then come back so you can offer some reflection and support. “You seem a little down. What's going on?” If they want to, people can develop better empathy habits, just as they can change other habits.

Some people are naturals at being able to read other people but others find it very difficult. How can a person accelerate their abilities in that area?
Again, I would say the answer is partly practice. Some people are naturally gifted musicians who practice little; others have to practice quite a lot in order to get good. Many who are less gifted in a particular area can make up for it with a desire to get better and regular practice. Ask people who care about you to work with you and give you feedback on your interactions with them. Hire a coach. Maintain a good attitude about your practice and know that you are learning. What you conscientiously focus on will improve.

One of the premises of emotional intelligence is the ability to cognitively understand our emotions and to be able to manage or control those emotions. Take anger, for example, as an emotion that one needs to control if one is to function in an emotionally intelligent way. However, some research has linked suppressed or unexpressed anger to adverse health consequences such as depression, heart disease, high blood pressure and certain types of cancer. How do we reconcile this?
It's an issue of balance. Emotion should be expressed but in a positive and helpful way. To explode with anger not only hurts the angry person's health, it damages relationships. Keeping the anger bottled up, however, is the opposite extreme and equally unhealthy; other health challenges stem from not expressing one's anger. The key is expressing it appropriately. Exercise, tackling a big project with energy (cleaning out your garage, for example), or writing down your thoughts and feelings can all be ways to channel that negative energy into something more positive. This lets people release the pressure in a slow and steady way without exploding. Sometime when you are not angry, look for a way that you will handle your anger when it arises. What will you say and do? If you have a plan that you have devised and thought about regularly beforehand, you are much more likely to be able to execute your plan when the situation arises.

Do you have a practical tool that one can use to handle conflict in a high EQ mode?
Highly-adversarial conflict is definitely reflective of low emotional intelligence. In the book, I describe the Three-Step Process which is derived from a mediation model of conflict. It involves allowing each party in a conflict to fully and freely state their position and their concerns while the other listens deeply. After both parties are heard, energy is turned toward joint problem-solving. It works nearly every time.

The current fast pace of doing business in a competitive global economy, and the need for organizations to move faster and faster and be responsive to a more demanding clientele, are putting constant and relentless pressure on workers. How can a company use emotional intelligence as a tool to build resilience in its workforce?
Companies where emotional intelligence is valued and practiced produce workers who, themselves, display greater emotional intelligence. Leaders model the correct behaviors and attitudes and others act similarly. What we find is a workplace where people are more motivated and committed to getting the job done -- not because they are being coerced but because they WANT to.

Most businesses go through some extremely busy times, and there will also be times when things are less demanding. Appreciating and making good use of both the steady periods and the demanding periods is indicative of a high EQ workplace. Workers who are valued and challenged in both circumstances learn to become more flexible. It's a good idea to talk through the “lessons learned” after a busy period and to be appreciative of people's hard work. Being able to successfully cope and bounce back from tough periods is important. People need to be acknowledged and reminded of their excellent performance in doing this. This encourages them to be resilient again. If the only time they are noticed is to be chastised and threatened during peak periods, workers become resentful and unwilling to change and bend.

What advice would you give a manager, team leader or business owner who wants to make his or her team more emotionally intelligent?
First and foremost is modeling high emotional intelligence themselves. As the manager builds relationships with individual team members, he or she also wants to encourage them to work with each other on getting the work done. Leaders who help promote camaraderie have more emotionally intelligent teams. The manager can do this by communicating freely and frequently, having regular time for the team to meet face-to-face, and building in time for enjoying each others' company. Hold the team to high standards and deal with performance problems positively. Be generous with showing appreciation and support.

What is a path that an individual can follow to get started on the journey for higher emotional intelligence?
I recommend that a person engage in some honest self-assessment first. A 360-evaluation of performance is good for this purpose because it points out areas in which he or she may be challenged. However, if that's not possible several other methods can help. Take a self-assessment or use a checklist and be as honest as possible about your competencies in these areas. Ask a trusted friend, mentor, advisor, or coach for some honest feedback, too, and be open to what they tell you.

After assessing where you are currently, I suggest picking no more than two behavioral areas you want to work on initially. Two is manageable, but much more than this becomes overwhelming and feels hopeless. Set a goal and work to change one or two small habits over time. When you succeed small, it gives you enough confidence to continue trying to improve in additional areas. Succeeding in small ways is much more helpful than failing big when it comes to EI. As you become more competent in any area of emotional intelligence, you have a positive impact on other areas, much like the ripples that move out from the pebble thrown in the pond.

Let's address the issue of the scientific validity of emotional intelligence. There are hundreds of studies out there on the business case for EI. Which sources do you recommend as the quickest way to get this type of information?
You are right when you say that there are a great many studies out there, so much so that it's hard to know what to suggest. For a fairly comprehensive general overview of how EI can be applied in the organization, I would begin with Cherniss and Adler (2000), Promoting emotional intelligence in organizations, published by ASTD. I also like meta-analyses because they compare and compile the findings of a number of studies on the same subject. One example is: Barrick and Mount (1991). The big five personality dimensions and job performance: A meta-analysis, Personnel Psychology, 44, 1-26.

I also recommend that people break EI down into the subtopics they are most interested in, such as self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. Search on these and related subtopics. This will help point them to research focused on their specific area of interest.

Emily A. Sterrett is the author of The Manager's Pocket Guide to Emotional Intelligence.

Bruna Martinuzzi is the President of Clarion Enterprises, a consulting and training organization specializing in emotional intelligence.