The "Know Yourself, Choose Yourself, Give Yourself" model turns EQ theory into practice for your personal and professional life.
Emotional intelligence is the capacity to get optimal results from your relationships with yourself and others.
To provide a practical and simple way to learn and practice emotional intelligence, Six Seconds developed a three-part model in 1997.
Here is a current overview of the model including additional links
To be emotionally intelligent means to "Know Yourself," "Choose Yourself," and "Give Yourself." Our model draws on the work of Peter Salovey, Ph.D. (one of our advisory board members), and Jack Mayer, Ph.D. who first defined EQ as a scientific concept, as well as the model popularized by Daniel Goleman in his 1995 book, Emotional Intelligence, which endorses our EQ curriculum Self-Science.
The three major parts of Six Seconds' model are:
- Know Yourself is increasing self-awareness. It is based on understanding how you function.
- Choose Yourself is building self-management. It focuses on consciously choosing your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
- Give Yourself is developing self-direction. It comes from using empathy and principled decision-making to increase wisdom and to create a more compassionate, healthy world.
We have identified eight key skills, or fundamentals, of emotional intelligence. They are divided into the three parts of the model. These are the skills and behaviors we teach to adults and to children.
Six Seconds' eight fundamental EQ skills:
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Know Yourself
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Choose Yourself
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Give Yourself
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Enhance Emotional Literacy
Recognize Patterns
(more)
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Apply Consequential Thinking
Navigate Emotions
Engage Intrinsic Motivation
Exercise Optimism
(more)
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Increase Empathy
Pursue Noble Goals
(more)
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This chart helps explore the model:
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Questions
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Components
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Know Yourself
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> What makes you think, act and feel the way you do?
> What parts of your reaction are habitual (done without conscious thought) and which parts are intentional?
> What are you afraid of?
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Self-awareness: the recognition of the causes and effects of your own feelings and reaction.
Self-honesty: the acceptance of your own qualities and faults, your own experiences and emotions, and your own power.
Independence: the recognition of your own rights and responsibilities as a free person.
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Choose Yourself
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> How do you know what is right for you?
> Can you increase your awareness of your actions so that you see their effects?
> If you were not afraid, what would you do?
> Can you live with doing less that what is right?
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Delay gratification: take "right" action even though there may not be immediate reward.
Prioritize: bring to the forefront of your mind a "checklist" of what is most important so you can weigh decisions and actions.
Manage feelings: use simple techniques, like a pause for reflection, to act -- not react.
Optimism: recognize that you have choice, that you can make a difference, that you are an important part of a living whole.
Accountability: hold yourself to high standards and do what is right... even when it seems hopeless.
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Give Yourself
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> Am I leaving a legacy of good?
> Am I healing or hurting?
> Do I live the golden rule?
> Will I die knowing I lived well?
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Interdependence: the recognition of an individual's place in the larger community; awareness and decision making that takes into account the short & long term consequences of our actions.
Empathy: use your awareness to guide your choices.
Noble Goals: commit to action that serves ideals & serves others, but does not hurt anyone and does not profit one over another.
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Be sure to read about the fundamental skills in each of the three areas of the model:
