For the past 20 years, my most rigorous exercise has been carrying my laptop around the world. Still, when I went to the doctor for a checkup (finally), I was surprised and dismayed by my blood pressure. [This article was first published 12/21/2005 — the good news: I’ve come to like exercise!] Over the years […]
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Karen McCown, Six Seconds’ Founder, handed this article to me several years ago. It’s stuck with me as a powerful set of guidelines for being impeccable with words. The children, Patty and I have discussed the “three gatekeepers” often over the last years; we started when the kids were 4 and 6 years old and […]
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How can we solve conflicts with our kids – when they don’t want to talk about it? A major EQ challenge.
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The Six Seconds model turns EQ theory into practice for your personal and professional life. Emotional intelligence is the capacity to blend thinking and feeling to make optimal decisions — which is key to having a successful relationship with yourself and others. To provide a practical and simple way to learn and practice emotional intelligence, Six Seconds developed a three-part model in 1997 as a process – an action plan for using emotional intelligence in daily life.
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What makes a leader into someone worth following? Is it their title? Their actions? Or maybe something more — something that is both rational and emotional.
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Recently… I told Emma (8-year-old daughter) she needed to get dressed to go. Instant protest, heel-dragging, power struggle. Yet we were going to do something she wanted! I observed a new cross-functional team starting up. The person assigned to schedule the first meeting asserted, “Since no one else wants to, I will chair the team.” […]
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The drive to connect, to be accepted, is both glorious and brutal. It drives us to care and connect — and to engage in self-destructive behavior in a desperate bid to fit. The “thinness” of digital connection can’t actually be fixed by quantity — just as one can not get a healthy meal by eating a LOT of junk — but the thinness may drive people to want more.
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I have always loved little boxes, they’re all around our house and I have a collection near my desk. I’ve decided to make one a Dream Box in an attempt to stay hopeful. I’d like to say I’m not afraid to talk about this, but the truth is I am. I’m afraid that you will […]
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How do we change out of a destructive pattern? Emma (my daughter, now 9) frequently makes a big fuss when it’s time to do work that’s not appealing, especially “dumb writing homework” (despite usually liking writing and being an outstanding student). This has gone on for years, but a couple of weeks ago I noticed […]
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This week we watched the Star Wars trilogy as a family – first time for Emma and Max. Return of the Jedi was today. A couple of comments that followed up from the discussion of Satyagraha. Tucking into bed, Max, 7: “Remember when Luke made C3P0 fly, and then C3p0 said, ‘I didn’t know I […]
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Emma, my daughter, is having “the year of her life” in school — huge leaps of passion and learning and adventure. And facing powerful challenges. The most pressing being a relentless conflict with another girl, let’s call her Josie. They are both strong willed, independent, and believe themselves to be smart. Patty & I have […]
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Finding Peace Amidst Holiday Stress – Tips for an “Emotionally Intelligent” Holiday Paradoxically, holidays are extremely stressful. Given all the bad news we’re facing in the economy, this year may be especially challenging. There are so many expectations, so much to accomplish, and so many feelings all rolled together. Holidays are rituals and we […]
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Our society, especially in business, seems fixated on “behavior” as a magic solution. For example, recently I was talking to a potential client about a leadership development program and he wanted to know what “EQ behaviors” the participants would learn. Talking about the behavior is an easy short-hand. We want leaders to be proactive, to […]
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Dear ones, Tomorrow the Jewish holiday of Passover begins, so I’ve been thinking about freedom and about love. Passover commemorates the time when Jews were enslaved in Egypt and then Gd, through Moses, led them to forge a path toward freedom. Moses didn’t want the job — he felt unqualified, incapable… uncertain and hopeless, but […]
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I was interviewed for Feb ’07 Redbook article. It’s always fun to see how these things come out… Excerpt: “See” your feelings in full color. Take a moment each day to imagine that you’re a blank wall waiting to be painted, suggests Joshua Freedman, of Six Seconds (6seconds.org), an emotional-intelligence website. “Let your imagination run […]
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Awareness of beginnings, middles, and ends helps projects, relationships, and events — at work, at school, at home, in love and in war. It seems that if we could become more effective in all three phases life would be a lot better!
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“Emotions are literally changing the chemistry of every cell of your body,” says Dr. Pert, “and affecting the world outside your body.”
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This second half of “Fight or Flow” explores the alternative to the kinds of “hitting back first” reactions discussed in part one. To constructively engage with emotions requires reframing the way we think — and feel — about feelings. It’s always amazed me that these heavy stones can move — float — on a cushion […]
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Why do we react – explode – shut down… and how can we use insights from current neuroscience to be less reactive?
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Feelings are a dominant force in learning, they are powerful and meaningful. But what are they? What happens inside us when our “feelings are hurt” or when we are ready to “jump for joy”?
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What is optimism? Can it be learned? How? Martin Seligman is one of the preeminent experts on optimism and a founder of positive psychology. This interview explores many of the key ingredients for creating a happy, fulfilled life and introduces the concept of positive psychology. Josh: The tool that you introduced at the Nexus EQ […]
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Last week I stood on the edge of the world. The oceans mingled crashing against the cliffs — beyond this spire of land is only water, all the oceans together. The Cape of Good Hope. A point of crossing, the end of one journey, the beginning of another. A metaphor, perhaps, of the New South […]
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Maybe optimism is the lesson that Emma is teaching me each bubbly morning. “Hey dad, I know you are happy to be awake and playing with me,” she seems to say. And some mornings it takes me longer to get the message, but before long I am. Emma wakes up each morning laughing and smiling […]
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Some of my former seventh graders are now on their way to college. It is exciting for me to think of my time as a teacher as part of the cycle of life — as part of the fabric of someone’s education. I was talking with one of these people just before she left for […]
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It is Independence Day here; when I was younger, it was a day for blowing stuff up, for a little thrill, and also for the ephemeral beauty of fireworks. A little less young, now it is a day for barbecues, family, and thinking about what it means to belong to a nation. We spent the […]
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EQ Reflection: Emma’s Birth May 18, 1999 In the last 12 days since Emma Rose Freedman was born, I’ve had a million ideas for an EQ News… but from before 12 days ago, I remember that it was somewhat annoying for others to listen to parents dote on their magnificent children… and I’ve been a […]
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EQ Reflection: Vigilance and Prevention April 27, 1999 I know we’ve all heard and thought a lot about Columbine. Rather than going over the same ground about what happened and why, I’d like to consider my own role in this kind of violence, and ask you to do the same. Like all of us, I […]
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EQ Reflection: State of the World Jan 30, 1999 I am writing you from Monterrey, Mexico where I am attending the State of the World Forum for Emerging Leaders; I want to share some of the energy and joy of this event. There are about 700 young leaders here, university students and recent graduates who […]
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