Glenn Hinds is an independent training consultant trained in person centred and psychodynamic counselling. He is a Network Leader for Six Seconds in Northern Ireland. Glenn offers us this reflection on his EQ training and how it applies to many areas of life.
When a professional coach integrates their own emotional awareness into their practice, it can significantly improve outcomes. Cognitive understanding can achieve degrees of progress, but the inclusion of emotional data can accelerate understanding exponentially.
I knew of the principals of emotional intelligence and was referencing these in my trainings, yet through my experience of the Six Seconds model and practitioner training, I now have a tangible and accessible framework to explain and assist others as they navigate towards purposeful decision making.
Since my training in June, EQ and the Six Seconds model, philosophy and tools have been a part of my every day practice. The material has opened a completely new vista in my exploration and understanding of myself and relationships with those I know and have yet to meet. The simple, yet profound prompts have proven to be life changing and life enhancing! I am learning a new language to communicate, primarily with myself, which is having a fundamental influence of all my encounters, and the decisions I make and what I do.
One example would be my use of it in golf. A few days after I returned to Derry after the training in Prague I was scheduled to play the first round of my golf clubs singles championship. I was drawn against the lowest handicap player and I was aware before leaving home that I was “FEELING” nervous and agitated with the consequence, my “THINKING” was critical and defensive, and my “ACTIONS” hurried and unfocused.
By taking a moment to recognize this experience and understand it without judgment, I recognized, on the surface, I was nervous about the competition and more significantly, below, the potential of being beaten. I immediately recognized a pattern woven from threads of perfectionism – which offered the prospect of ridicule, isolation and discomfort should I not win.
My emotional response was being driven by a need to protect myself from this uncomfortable possibility, yet it was hindering me. Step forward to “Choose Yourself” where I was able to navigate my emotions, apply consequential thinking, and exercise optimism, primarily in a personal dialogue that offered recognition of potential defeat (it was a competition after all) with reassurance that while I probably would get “stick” from my mates, it would be in good humor and wouldn’t result in a loss of important people in my life.
As a seven handicap golfer I knew how to play golf well and I invited the golfer in me to step forward and guide the preparation and execution of the match play. I further reassured the “protective” self that I was safe whatever the outcome of what was essentially “just a game of golf”. I did want to WIN and wanted to play to the best of my ability to achieve this goal, while recognizing my opponent wanted the same for himself.
I experienced myself in stillness, with a calm yet focused mind, both of which meant I knew what needed done in the time before my game to prepare and throughout in shot and club selection. I enjoyed my playing mate’s company and we both played excellent golf with the match only being decided on the last hole. The bonus was I won. The real significance of the events was the lesson I had learned in the integration of the EQ competencies, I knew I could superimpose this process on all other circumstances to assist my experience and decision making, and so it has been.
In my professional role I have now developed and delivered several EQ information events for a school, a peace and reconciliation organization and most recently, a seminar at a Body, Mind, Soul Festival,.
I am assisting my coaching clients recognize feelings, patterns, pathways to navigate emotions towards more purposeful outcomes, think more optimistically about circumstances and consider where they want to get to before setting out. Empathy, for me, is the Universal Master Key to meaningful and lasting change. Seeing things from the others’ perspective, especially in fraught circumstances, adds such an important insight that ‘big picture’ thinking and behavior is made accessible. Arguments stop happening, freedom is available more often, and being right is less important than having peace of mind and heart. I get it more, “No Way Is The Way”. I now consider options against my “Noble Goa” and the path I need to follow always presents itself to me.
In October, I completed the Emotional Intelligence Advanced Trainer (EQAT) certification in Dubai, and have agreed to become a Six Seconds Network Leader for my region. EQ is here to stay.
If you are considering attending the EQPC in London or anywhere else, I invite you to consider it a gift to yourself. You WILL be a different person at the end of the five days.
PS. I went on to win six more matches become club champion for 2016.