Last night I was talking with Daniel Goleman about our upcoming webinar during the 24EQ Virtual Conference — his session is leveraging emotional intelligence to create environmental and business sustainability. Here’s how to sign up – http://www.eventbrite.com/event/3471067055 - some seats are still available and the event is free. I highly recommend this!
Dan mentioned that people who are happier consume less. Yet so often people talk about “retail therapy” and how shopping makes them feel better. It reminded me of this photo I took this week at a mall here in Kuala Lumpur – shown to the right. ”Shoes make me happy. I’m superficial. Whatever.”
But Goleman’s data suggests otherwise. What do you think? Can real happiness be found in a shoe shop? ”I’ll take a pair of the gold slides, size happy…”
I suspect that people, especially women in this case, are being “sold a bill of goods” along with the shoes — with a pervasive message that the yearning we feel from a void in meaning and connection is a signal to shop.
Joshua Freedman
Joshua is one of the world’s preeminent experts on developing emotional intelligence to improve performance. With warmth and authenticity, he translates leading-edge science into practical, applicable terms that improve the quality of workplace relationships to unlock enduring success. Joshua leads the world’s largest network of emotional intelligence practitioners and researchers.See 252 more posts by Joshua Freedman
I agree that retail shopping serves as a form of therapy for a lot of people and makes them feel better temporarily. The reason why is because the brain releases chemicals such as dopamine or serotonin when a person is stimulated. Shopping has the ability to overload the brain with all kinds of emotional stimuli such as finding that killer bargain, discovering a piece of clothing that increases your self-confidence, or enjoying the sights, smells and sounds of the mall.
The part of the brain that is stimulated when women are shoe-shopping is adjacent to the part of the brain that is stimulated by sex. To stimulate one is to stimulate the other. If the sex section is judged as inappropriate at the time, the shoe-shopping one comes into play twice as strong…
It’s different strokes for different folks. I think when we are sad we want to be distracted, moved away from our depressing thoughts, and the mall provides a complex web of sights, sounds, smells, variety, which entraps us momentarily into a different world. Yet, somehow I hate malls. When I need comfort, a long walk or a visit to my fav book store helps. Shopping (other than for books) stresses me out.
There is another side to shopping. That side is knowledge acquisition of cultural change/technical innovation. Women go shopping; men spend hours wandering in hardware/building-supply stores and often return home with no new purchases. The latest in fashion is more important for women who are acculturated to equate self-esteem with beauty. Men, on the other hand, fix things. We do not realize what we don’t know until we see something different; men may go to the store and see that better solutions exist. Shopping becomes a lesson in successfully meeting cultural challenges. It is not universally a sex difference, as some men purchase gadgets they never use, while some women largely window shop, gleaning inspiration for altering or recombining articles they already own. Satisfaction from the shopping experience, I submit, depends on whether one is trying to fill an empty hole in the psyche or learning how to meet life challenges, however defined.
There is research which cover this area–Gallup conducted seminal FMRI research which shows brain changes of those who are compulsive shoppers, and the conditions under which this can happen. The pleasure centers of the brain are activated during shopping.
It depends on who you are and what you are shopping for. The question is too wide.
Hi! Josh, Isn’t it like happier people comsume less but want to spend on others and make others happy like them?
Can it also be a way to share happiness?
But I also doubt that after seeing so many beautiful SHOES whether females would be sharing this happiness? I think this is quite gender specific. Thanks for sharing…
It is a flaw premise to say shopping makes us happy. When you wear a new pair of shoes, your friends give you thumbs up and you felt flattered which is reflected with a smile on your face. Is it happiness or a response to a cheerful moment?
Truly happy people do not need outside condition to make them happy. They feel contented and peaceful within themselves. There is no requirement for another piece of jewellery or toy to create the external happiness.