We honor writers and musicians who bare their souls. We gravitate toward speakers or colleagues who share their deepest selves, warts and all. So why, after decades of self-disclosure, is it so hard for me to trust that I won’t be judged for what I reveal?
It isn’t that I don’t disclose. I do. I reveal my inner world to friends and colleagues, as a blogger, and in my training seminars. I’ve always been emotionally literate and have valued sharing my “true” self. When I discovered the field of EI, I felt immediately at home. But…. I’m aware enough to sense my desire to hold back details. And lately, I’ve sensed a slight inner queasiness after self-disclosure. Is this because I’ve moved from the realm of fiction (my work as playwright where I could hide behind characters) to nonfiction (myself as the canvas).
What do you think about self-disclosure?
The inner world is incredible, wondrous, and mysterious, isn’t it? Suddenly tonight (after taking some vital R & R) I finally see the connection between my striving and my deep loneliness. (How’s that for self-disclosure? I’ll probably feel unsettled about that one tomorrow).
You may suggest that my discomfort illustrates I’m sharing too much. Maybe…. But I’m not naïve enough to want to share everything. I understand healthy boundaries. Perhap I’m learning to trust more. Maybe I’m suffering as an athlete does and I’m building stamina and trust. Perhaps there is no way around this psychological vertigo (at least for my own psychology).
What are your rules about self-disclosure?