Tidbit from my physical therapist: When you’ve experienced a lot of pain, for example from a ruptured tendon, when you go to try to use that muscle again your brain says, “NO!” Not because it hurts now, but because your brain “knows” that activity will be painful.
I’ve certainly experienced this in physical therapy with my knees… but also elsewhere in my life. Before my dad died, for example, there were things I wanted to tell him, but I way afraid — not because it would hurt now, I suspect, but because by brain “knew” that activity would be painful.
So often we “protect” against the old and imagined hurts, and we don’t experience that we’ve grown past the memory of pain.
To get past it in physical injury, I have to risk, trust, hope, have an ally — and commit. I suspect the same is true with the emotional injuries.
Joshua Freedman
Part of the Six Seconds' founding team, Josh is one of the world leading experts on emotions, change, and performance. One of a handful of people with proven experience creating organizational performance through EQ, Freedman leads a world-wide network of EQ change agents. (sd)
You’ve hit on the crux of the toughest thing for trauma survivors: our brains say, “No!” all the time. It’s a crazy way to live. We no longer distinguish between past pain and the present or future lack of it but get mixed up by the brain’s constant loop of fear.
You’re right: healing emotional wounds is the same process as with physical injury. I would add this to your list: we have to have a deep DESIRE to heal; it is from here that we draw the majority of our strength.
Yes. So true. Our marvelous brain is so great at helping us remember pain so we are “protected.” Thanks Brain. Lately I’ve been working through the mystery of being with pain (more psychological than physical right now)and letting it “work through me.” I’m sure there is research that explains how or why this works, I just know that it does work. Just like the study on “affect labeling” that shows that simply naming our emotions helps us move beyond them.