A friend of mine recently got a new job. “Jodie” soon discovered that her boss, “Sandra,” was a pariah in the company—secretly despised by almost everyone. It was easy to see why. Sandra had an abrasive manner, she literally stomped down the halls, stared at her colleagues with a stern expression, and often went silent on the phone for excruciatingly long periods. While most everyone was alienated by Sandra’s nonverbal behaviors, Jodie was more curious. What was behind Sandra’s severe, unsmiling stare? What was behind her “bulldozing” behavior?
Jodie guessed that Sandra was actually a terrified administrator who felt attacked by everyone. Because Jodie had also led projects, she recognized Sandra’s hidden fear and loneliness. Instead of resenting her boss’s shrill and demanding tone, Jodie realized the cry for help underneath. Whenever Sandra had a meltdown, Jodie offered help. Soon, a great trust developed between the two and Sandra began to soften.
Jodie’s emotional intelligence has also begun to transform the rest of her department. She has earned the trust of her peers who come to her with their complaints about Sandra. They know they can speak freely and in confidence. With Jodie’s encouragement, they have even begun to slowly share some of their complaints with their boss. This increase in transparency continues to help their department build trust and better teamwork.
Laura Lewis-Barr
What a great post. It is true that the people who are the sour pusses in our lives are more than likely not picking on us personally.
Most likely they are totally unaware of how their behavior impacts others. Finding one good thing to think about them, even if it is just that they have a good head of hair can be a wonderful trick for lightening the atmosphere.
Reaching out in kindness is the best thing to do! Thanks for inspiring us to be more tolerant of the grinches in our lives!
Catherine