Maybe optimism is the lesson that Emma is teaching me each bubbly morning. “Hey dad, I know you are happy to be awake and playing with me,” she seems to say. And some mornings it takes me longer to get the message, but before long I am.
Emma wakes up each morning laughing and smiling — even when she has had a grumpy night or driven us to the brink by refusing to go to sleep. Recently I was away at Odyssey Middle School’s beginning-of-school leadership camp, Patty and Emma came too, and I asked the kids if there is a lesson in Emma’s morning cheerfulness. Their answers ran a gamut:
“Be optimistic, because that’s more satisfying.”
“Live in the present because this moment is all you have.”
“When you are a baby, you don’t remember the bad things.”
“If you get enough sleep, you are happy.”
“You really love her.”
“If you start with smiling, then the people you care about will be happy.”
As Patty and I talked to the kids, and later to each other, I found more and more lessons in Emma’s morning joy.
Patty reminded me that as a teacher it is hard to let students “start fresh” each day — expectations, frustrations, positives and negative seem to build up. But with Emma, she said, “We give each other the gift of total forgiveness. Even if the night before I was so mad that I wanted to scream, the morning is a new start.”
Both of us found that in our schools, we knew a great deal about each child and family, and that there was an expectation that teachers would tell one another all about the kids in their classes. One teacher friend has a policy where she does not want to hear anything about the kids in her class from other teachers. When she has a problem or issue and is stuck, she asks other teachers if they have suggestions or specific information — but she wants to start fresh with them. The point is giving each child permission to be who s/he is now.
Likewise, with middle schoolers a frequent challenge for kids is that their friends do not “allow” them to change. By expecting a certain set of behavior, you almost guarantee that you will get that behavior.
One of my favorite Anabel quotes is, “Treat people the way you want them to be.” For me, maybe that’s the lesson that Emma is teaching me each bubbly morning. “Hey dad, I know you are happy to be awake and playing with me,” she seems to say. And some mornings it takes me longer to get the message, but before long I am.
Another lesson for me is that while I practice living in the moment, the pain passes. Right now, Emma is trying to fall asleep, and I am listening to her sad crying right now (she does not like falling asleep so much…) — it is getting softer, little obligatory protests; all of us feel a little sad. But tomorrow morning, we will wake up to Emma kicking us and laughing, to her smiling just from seeing us in a new day.
– Josh
Footnote: “The sun is new each day” — Heraclitus (ca 500 BCE).
😎
Account Login
login, change password
Tools System
manage assessments
EQ.org
cert eLearning & library
Knowledge Base
get how-to info
Help Desk
get tech support
Contact Us
we’re here to help
EQ Store
buy resources
TFA Online
TFA cards app
Event Calendar
quickly find all classes
- Knowing Isn’t Coaching: Three Emotional Intelligence Tools for Professional Coaches - April 3, 2024
- Coaching Down the Escalator: 3 Emotional Intelligence Tips forCoaches to Reduce Volatility & De-escalate Conflict in a Polarized World - March 6, 2024
- Dr. Daniel Goleman Explains the History of Emotional Intelligence - February 29, 2024